Once, Not Twice

The Dragon and Johnny

Johnny walked home from school each day with a pail of water. He acquired the water from a well that was placed directly in the middle of the path, at the exact halfway point between school and home. He often made a fuss about being forced to carry the water. He often told his mother he wouldn't do it anymore! Oh but on this day he was. And as he made his way towards his home, he could be heard moaning about the awful weight of the small metal pail for a very far distance down the road. And on this day, he was heard.

As little Johnny's little legs carried him closer to his humble little shack, he could hear a rumbling in the hills to his left. A rumbling like thunder, and rockslides, and giants all rolled into one. And little Johnny remembered the stories his mother had told him of monsters and dragons that lived in the hills, and he scoffed. They were stories made to scare little ones into behaving, and behave he never had. 

But Johnny picked up the pace, because even if it wasn't dragons, it could very well be a storm, and in the way only children can properly think, he worried the water in the pail would get wet, and mother would yell. So he pushed his little legs faster, almost at running but not quite. That inbetween motion that is just fast enough to make you feel as if you are making progress, but really you aren't going too much faster than before.

And in poor little Johnny's case, it didn't matter either way, for out of the sky came a great rumbling roar! And down swooped a mighty beast with claws as long as two men, and thick as a tree trunk. It's wings, black as a moonless night, extended and filled Johnny's vision as the great beast began to glide. And little Johnny stared in awestruck wonder at this beautious creature that came to land before him. It's head, shaped much like that of the snakes mother always told him not to touch, was the size of his house, and then some! And it came to rest before him, close enought to touch almost. And it groaned and creaked as it shuffled into comfort. And then, with a sound like that of an unoiled door, it's mouth opened. Breath as hot as the bowels of the deepest hell threw him from his feet, and the water from his little pail came splooshing out of the bucket and onto his school trousers. But with another foul breath, reeking of rotting carcases, the water was instantly dried. 

The dragon seemed to chuckle, and it tasted the air with its serpentine tongue.

What have we here? Is it a rabbit? No no. Much too big for a rabbit. Oh. Maybe it's a hound! Oh dear no. Hounds don't stand up so. It... It couldn't be a human could it? A sack of meat and bones and frailty. It's so small! 

At this, Johnny had had quite enough. 

"I am a human! A boy at that. And I'm perfectly normal sized for my age thank you very much. The doctor said i just haven't hit my growth yet!"

The beast seemed a bit taken aback by the small thing in front of him. 

Why... It speaks!

"Well of course I speak. I'm a boy aren't I? And boys speak."

Johnny nodded his head, as if to say that's that, picked up his pail, and began to head home, seemingly done with this silly creature who would question what he was. He had no fur! How could he be an animal like this great silly beast was suggesting? He got no more than a few meters when a massive, scaly arm came down like a tree struck by lightening across his path.

Do you know what dragons do to humans little hairless ape?

Johnny thought for a long, hard moment. "I don't supose they give them lollies?"

This seemed to amuse the monster, as it tilted its head to the side, its teeth showing. 

No. I don't suppose we do. 

Johnny thought again for a moment. "Do you give them free rides? Up there on your back?"

The dragon thought for a moment.

Well. I never have. I had a cousin who did once. But he said it was a horrible experience. The apeman just screeched like an unholy ghost and even ripped a couple of scales off.

Now Johnny was a smart boy. He wasn't particularly intelligent when it came to books, as his teachers often reminded him, but he had common sense, which was what counted in the real world, outside of desks and tests. And in a situation like this, real world smarts mattered much, much more than being able to recite old musty tomes in Latin.

"Well have I got an opportunity for you. Your cousin was just telling you lies. Pulling your leg as it were. He didn't want you getting in on his fun! I heard from my uncle's... Cousin's... Mother... That riding aback a dragon is the most fun a human, or a dragon could ever have. Yes sir. And... Ahh. They say... They say that dragons who give rides to children who are very small will live forever! But uh. But only if they don't kill the child. Yeah the child has to make it completely intact."

Johnny wasn't feeling to comfortable with his lie. There was some definite holes in it, but the beastie seemed to be considering. And after a length of time, the creature swung its head down low to the ground.

Well then little manbeast. Climb aboard. We will see how generous I'm feeling after the ride.

And up he clambered onto the great giants back, trying his hardest not to ri any scales from the skin or pinch particularly hard. At the base of the neck, the dragon had three spikes, equidistant from each other, with just enough space between two for a articularly small boy to shimmy into.

And as the neck straightened up, and then the back, Johnny began to doubt himself. But he held on bravely to the spike before him, making not a single sound.

And the dragon lifted its mighty wings and pushed against the air, lifting itself off the ground. The nervousness soon left Johnny as the behemoth rose beneath him. He watched as the ground became a fell from under his feet, and soon they reached the clouds! And it was more magnificent a sight than he could have ever hoped to see.

And then it was over far too soon. All at once the dragon was alighting upon the ground not far from his pail, and shrugging off the tiny human.

Well then. I will admit it wasn't a teribble experience. I don't feel particularly immortal either.

Johnny could feel the beasts glower as its eyes came to rest on him. 

"Oh. Oh well you won't will you? You won't feel anything. It's a lasting effect though. I swear it! And if you should ever become... Unimmortal. You can come eat me. I swear it." The mighty dragon seemed to think about this for a moment, before it nodded its great head in aknowledgement.

Should this ever wear off, I will find you. You are far too small to eat anyhow. You would hardly fill my belly.

Johnny couldn't believe his luck, and ran straight home with his empty pail to tell his mother all about how he had outsmarted a dragon. But his mother didn't believe him. She simply berated him for not bringing home the water, and made him walk all the way back in the dark, and told him he wouldn't have dessert for telling such attrocious lies.

And the moral of this story is: If you ever have a fantsatical adventure, always remember to bring back proof. All of the best adventures are ruined when people don't believe you have had them.