Red Lips; Paulo Dybala

What a Feeling

Celine hissed, feeling the sting of the tequila burning her throat. She had lost count by her fourth one, and she was sure she had exceeded her limit. There was this constant ache and she didn't know what to do with it any longer. She was suffocating and she wanted it gone.

She wanted him to make it go away. Instead, she was at a bar drowning her sorrows in her good friend, El Patron. Enjoying how the ache was being voided while the sting of the liquid went down her throat.

"I hate him." Grumbling she order another round of shots for her.  The bartender took a look of Celine, her palm pressed against her cheek. He didn't understand what could trouble the beauty, but he had learned with his years working there that one shouldn't judge a book by its over.

"Have you ever been in love?" Celine questioned, slamming the empty shot glass. The bartender nodded. Of course he had been in love, he was in love, "I was once." Mumbling she drowned another one and the bartender grimace, frowning.

"And look where that has taken me." She added, her eyelids were getting heavy and she forced them opened. Her brown eyes wild and dopey, "I almost wish I haven't met him."

The bartender didn't say anything, but he poured more tequila into her shot glass. He had his share of stories of clients with broken hearts, but this was different. Celine had an open heart, that was aching and had a missing piece.

That was Paulo.

Celine groaned, motioning for him to get closer, "I still love him." She whispered into his ear.

The man looked at the half empty bottle of their tequila, debating if pouring more would help her and her broken heart, "I thought you hated him?" He asked, busting the countertop.

Celine threw her head back in laughter. Her brown eyes wildly looking at him. He didn't understand one bit love. It was this rollercoaster, that mainly stood at a standstill; but when it did go down- it was one of the best feelings one could have, "That's the thing about love," She had told it once to Luca, "You let them get away with murder even if it's your own."

And he stood there. He didn't understand how hurt the woman that sat there actually was. Drowning her ache in the liquid, letting it be the venom she needed, "So, what are you going to do?" He asked, engaging in the conversation.

Celine swallowed down the acidic feeling of vomit clawing at her throat, and pushed more alcohol down her throat, "I'm going to push him away."

The bartender shook his head,"Why would you?" He looked at the woman with brown eyed and sultry lips, "You're here drinking in his name, and you're going to push him away?"

She didn't answer. But took another round of shots for the millionth time that night. Her finger tips tracing the remains of the salt on the glass, "I kept waiting for him to call." She stated, starring blankly at ahead. There was nights where she didn't sleep a blink, waiting for him to call in the middle of the night apologizing. Begging her to come back to his arms where she belonged. He never did, "I'm still waiting for him to call."

The bartender finally pour the last drop of the liquid into the glass and closed the bar for the night. It had been hours since the bar had closed and only Celine's shadow was present, "Go home." He might had been young and his heart might had never been as torn as hers. He knew so much that sometimes one had to swallow their ego, their pride and make the first step, "You go back. I once read somewhere that if it's meant to be they'll come back. You have to let him in."

Celine shook her head, "It's too risky." She stated. There was so much on the line for her to lose all over again, "I lose."

"You'll lose regardless." He stated. He started taking the shots glass one by one leaving Celine as broken as before.

Celine stood up, reaching for her purse. If she was going to risk falling face flat once more, she wanted it to with Paulo. She wanted to destroy herself if she had to, but she wanted it all to be with him.

The bartender smiled, drying the glasses watching her stumble in her heels, "Whatever happens. I know you two were made for each other." He yelled out.

She turned briskly, almost loosing her balance. Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion, "What do you mean?" She hiccuped out.

He shrugged and place the glass back in its place, "You have this look in your eye." He stated, "When you talk about him. It's reality in what you see. The love that you see in him."

Celine only breathed out heavily and walked away. The nights were getting much colder in Turin as December approached. Celine presses her palms against the brick walls, one hand busily taking one heel off and then the other. She slowly walked along the cool sidewalk, her fingers dragging along the walls.

She was slowly regretting her decision of going to the bar, but at that time it had seen like such a good idea to drink her sorrows, her ache all in his name.

She stumbled upon his doorstep, pounding on the door. At the same time hoping it wouldn't be her daughter to wake up and welcoming her drunken mother.

It was him.

He stood shirtless, rubbing his sleep away. She wasted no time letting the tears fall and her hands turning into fists, pounding on his chest.

"I hate you." She cried, and Paulo stood their letting her abuse of his body the way she wanted to. Letting him hurt him the way he broke her heart years ago. Celine finally stopped falling to the floor, numb crying harder.

"After all this time I can't bring myself to hate you." Paulo brought himself to wrap his hands around Celine, "Why didn't you call?"
She asked.

"I-" Paulo couldn't find the words to explain to her that he wanted to call. That every time he was one step from calling her, he froze. He regretted letting her go, "I couldn't bring myself to hear how broken you were."

Celine finally stopped crying and was no breathing heavily. Her head leaning against Paulo's like years back, "It's all your fault. I shouldn't have never gone to that supermarket. I shouldn't have met you."

"Only think I regret is hurting you." He whispered, "I don't regret loving you. You are the best thing that has happened to me you have me the best thing, and that's our daughter." Celine looked at his eyes and she wanted to kiss him, make love to him right there.

"I never took this off." She mumbled, looking at the ring he gave her for her birthday, "I kept my promises."

"I love you to the moon and back and around the world and back?"

One more chapter until this novella comes to an end!!! It has been a pleasure sharing this with you all! Thank you for always being so supportive, and always reading this book! I can not begin explain how much that means to me!

With love and blessings
Lexi