Living in London

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PREVIOUSLY ON LIVING IN LONDON

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"It's just...I sit here everyday and I can't stop thinking about you. The way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you cry, the way you say my name... It's crazy. I never thought one person could drive me of of my own mind the way you can. I'm so far gone, Ariadne, it's not even funny... We aren't even tougher anymore and I'm still bloody whipped. It's just... I have to be selfish here. I'm not going to move on. I'm not letting you go. I can't let you go. "I lied. I lied to you and I'm sorry. I said all these terrible thing about you meaning nothing and that none of us cared about you but it was all lies! We do care about you so much, Ariadne! And... you mean everything to me. That was the problem, though. I was scared. I was- and still am- crazy about you. I love you so much. Kind of the point that it scared me. I was slipping and if I didn't do anything soon, I would be in too deep to ever get out. I was happy when you were happy and sad when you were sad. When I was away from you, I would be counting the hours until I could see you again. But don't you see how dangerous it is? I should let my life be controlled by something out of my control. And you controlled my life; my emotions were determined by you. I was scared that if i left it longer and anything happened between us, I wouldn't be able to cope. So I lied to you. I knew that if I told you all those horrible things, you would hate me so much that you would agree to break up and you wouldn't ever want me back. But I was stupid. I didn't realize at that time, but I was already in too deep. I didn't think you would leave as soon as you did. I thought I'd at least get to say goodbye. But you were gone. Within hours of what I said you had packed your bags and it was too late for me to try and win you back, even though I needed you to be there. I'm not going to bother you anymore. I just needed you to hear me out and I needed you to know I was sorry. I really do love you, Ariadne and I hate that I messed it up for us."

He paused and I pursed my lips, closing my eyes and burying my face in Harry the Raccoon's fluffy purple head. For someone who I told myself I hated, he was having a very strong effect on me.

"I'm so sorry. I love you, baby."

"Message recorded at... 10:17...AM. To listen to the message again, press one. To delete the message, press two. To-"

I wasted time, stumbling around the Internet for a bit. Maybe I'm a masochist, because when I saw an article labeled 'Hari Split?' I couldn't help but click into it. There were photos of Harry and I waking hand in hand, hugging, laughing together and one of me on stage the night of the fight.

Tears filled my eyes as I watched an interview at the bottom of the page. God, I missed them all so much. This interview was the one that took place while I made my escape.

None of the boys seemed to have their usual bounciness, though I could tell they were putting effort into faking it. I tried to stop my stomach from flipping every time the camera zoomed in on Harry but I couldn't and it was driving me mad.

Suddenly anger swelled in my chest when the interviewer asked the last question.

"So, can you tell us why you boys left Ariadne?"

The camera zoomed in on Harry as he answered, his face hard and his eyes blazing.

"We didn't leave her. She left us."

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ARIADNE's POV (April, 2013. The airplane.)

I closed my eyes, listening to the hum and rumble of the airplane around me. Sinking back into my first-class seat, I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I'd only just begun to relax when I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

A pretty-in-a-plain-sort-of-way flight attendant wearing a name badge labeled 'Susan' was grinning creepily down at me.

"Hi..." I prompted, waiting for her to say something.