Quenched

"When I need You" (Ch.3)

Today I wake up and I think of nothing,  nothing is good. Thinking of nothing means I won't be thinking of Alex. I still don't understand how he conjured up in my mind in the first place. Hormones, that's what I'll blame it on. I'm a growing teen trying to fight my natural hormonal urges, but that itself is a lie , if that were true why didn't I dream of Trevor. Life is determined I make an ass out of myself, and dreaming of the bad ass alpha male Alex Foreign is one day to do it. Ever since last night I've lost my train of thought merely focusing on the idea of him, but today I don't even have to see him at all. Today I spend my weekend hanging out with Regina and on that thought I pick up my phone and begin to call her. She doesn't answer until the second ring  but when she does she screams, her voice blaring through my end of the phone."Heeeey girl, you ready for the mall and can you believe it were going to the new restaurant, Splatine? "I smile, of course shes made plans already for today.

"A day full of shopping and dining out, uh yeah. Plus it gives me plenty of time to hang out with my best friend." I know shes flipping her hair over the phone."Well duh, who wouldn't want to hang with me I'm awesome. So see you then. And for once dress like you want to get laid." I get off my bed and walk over to my wardrobe, "Yeah,will do." Looking over my clothes in the closet I see I only have jeans, tights, jeggings, leggings, crop tops ,tank tops,and a few over sized shirts I sleep. I have absolutely no beautiful dresses to wear, until I remember some of my mom's old clothes.Closing the wardrobe I get on my knees and pull out the suitcase under my bed. Everything seems to come back at once, and suddenly I'm five again.

*11 years ago*

"Lucinda please, I'm trying , I'm trying so hard but it seems like the more I try the more you pull away. I don't recognize the woman I fell in love with anymore." I can hear mommy and daddy fighting again, this time its worst, I hate it when they fight, but its only cause daddy gets mad when mom walks or talks funny. I put Shiba,my new bear, down and walk to the corner of my door looking out. I'm older now, finally the big number ,6 and I can reach the door handle. I hear it before I see it , mommy throws here big bottle with some funny smelling juice inside at daddy. 

Then that's when mommy started yelling,"I can't do this Rick, I just can't, and I'm so damn tired of hearing you criticize me. You don't love me you never did." Dad's eyes fill with hurt, "Luce how can you say that, "You cared more about that liquor in your hands then you do us. You need help, that's all want is for you to get help. I've been trying to get through to you for us... for our daughter." At this point I'm crying, I don't know whats going on but what I do know is now everybody's sad and angry. Mommy's eyes soften at his words but then she gets mad again, she looks over to the broken glass again and she watches the smelly juice run over the floor and then it seems as if she starring at something, "Fuck you and your help goodbye  Rick. Daddy yells for her but then she walks to the door.

Mommy's always been beautiful but right now she looks sick, she has black tears running down her face from her makeup and her hairs all messed up. I run out of my room door and I grab her leg before daddy can catch me. "Mommy please don't go." She turns tome and bends down, " Baby girl I gotta go, but I'll be back, I need you to be a good girl for me till then okay." I nod even as dad scolds her telling her to not say things she didn't mean. With that she walked out the door. I never knew what any of it meant until I hit eight years old and I was still sitting on the front porch waiting for her to come home. I think that was the hardest  part coping with the feeling of  my mother not wanting me. Eventually I learned that neither dad or I had anything to do with her leaving. That day he sat me on his lap and said,"Pumpkin, sometimes we can't help what other people do, we can't help if they make bad decisions we can only forgive them and hope one day they'll learn from their mistakes." 

*Present Tense*

I quickly shove the suitcase back under my bed, suddenly it didn't matter if I wore a dress or not I din't want anything to do with her. Even if that meant a cute little mini black dress, I'd go without. Lord knows I went without a mother, I could certainly go without a dress. 

*30 minutes later*

"Girl I specifically asked you to dress like you would get laid, not like huckleberry Finn. Ughh okay, well change of plans were going to this teen night club called Xtract I hear it-is-the-shit we just have to go ''Note to self, NEVER TRUST REGINA EVER AGAIN. "G, you know I don't do clubs, and out of all the things that's what you want to do today." She smiles and I know shes gonna try to guilt me . "But this is part of some of the last days I'm going to spend with you.. you know, before you leave," and there it goes. I sigh, why of all days does she do this to me. "You don't play fair.' She smiles ruefully, "Course not, how would I be sure I'd won. So that's a yessss?" 

I give her that look she know so well and she squeals, " Yes , yes yes...okay first we'll get you a new outfit, then some make up, fix up your hair, do your nails-"The list continues until my ears bleed.

Oh god, what have I done.