It Was Always You... A Tale Of Heartbreak And Misery...

Losing my brother.

           I bet you are wondering what the death of my brother has to do with H. You'll see. My brother was my best friend. And the only person who understood me besides H. He overdosed on crack. He was miserable. I can't blame him this world sucks. It hurts like hell that he's gone but its the only assurance that he was real. He was twelve years older than me. I don't remember much. I do remember that he started popping pills when he was thirteen. Which lead to weed. Weed is not a gate way drug. Its the feeling of escaping reality and being content. Happiness is a lie. You can disagree but it is. At times we don't want to slit our wrists. Okay back to H. We talked about everything. We had no boundaries. No lies. Just honesty in a world of lies. Which is extremely rare. When he was with me all the love quotes were about him. When he was gone he was the only thing on my mind when I was cutting. Since he left I had attempted suicide six times. He had attempted suicide twice. Even though we weren't talking I would still check his page from time to time.

          I was looking at his page and then M came into the picture. Oh god how I hated her. She broke him beyond belief. She was so beautiful H didn't see how destructive she was. I had been with five guys in a year. Before you call me a slut listen to my reasoning. I had none besides trying to make him jealous. Which always failed. All that came out of those five 'relationships' were black eyes and rape kits. I put the word relationship in quotes because they weren't real.

         M was 5'2, petite, blonde hair, and always had mascara on. This time you might fall in love with her because she sounds so perfect. Hahaha you couldn't be more wrong. She was a bitch. A bitch from hell* sorry. The most interesting thing about her was that she posted pictures of her crying. I might sound like a real Asshole but I don't care.