I'm all yours if you're all mine

Chapter-33: Can't Forgive Myself

Yes. What the hell I'm doing?

Why the hell did I pull her away from him? He can go around and kiss anyone he want, fuck anyone he want, fuck every new girl, every new night and get HIV. Why the hell I care what he do?

Oh my god. What the hell happening to me? Just the thought of him with someone else make me feel to kill that person and at the same time kill me inside just the thought of that.

I didn't even drink tonight and already a mess. I think I seriously need help.

Without looking at anyone, I left from there all the while trying to figure out what is going on.

I promised myself to not feel this type of emotions any more. All they do was to hurt a person.

It always hurt. Loving Dexter hurt, my father cheating act hurt, all the lies dad feed us hurt, all the fight between them hurt, getting trust broken by someone to whom you considered your friends hurt.

They say that you should notice positivity in life and ignore negativity. I do recognize positive things.

Having such a sweet and loving family, caring big brother, die for best friends, good living condition. But when trust of a person is broken again and again then it is expected to be closed off. All they do that is to protect them from any more back stabbing.

I still remember the first time I meet Dexter in person. I didn't like him before but after meeting him in person I started to hate him. It still shocks me that how was I manage to look pass that moment and fall head over heels with him.

I entered the party and caught the normal set up as every other high school Friday party.

Loud music blasting from the Speaker, Teenagers dancing in middle of make-shift dance floor, some are busy in sucking each other face, some are vomiting in the flower pot, some are drinking.

Your same old high school parties. It is no different. That was I trying to make Sami understand. But the day she will listen to me that will be the happiest day of my life.

She was wearing a backless black mini dress companied by sexy strap heels. While I was dressed in dark blue dress paired with the heels. I just love heels but for the love of god I can't wear heels more than 3 inches. I have done both my and Sami's hairstyles and smoky eyes.

I love to do hairstyles while Sami is expert in doing makeup. But I don't let her cake my face with them other than eye makeup. Well let's face it eye makeup is sexy as hell.

"Come on let's go and get drunk." Shouted Sami and drag me with her god know where.

"Samantha you're not drinking." Come the angry roar from behind. I trun and bumped in Jason.

"Please save me Jay-Jay." I said in baby voice playing the puppy eyes that I know well Jay can't deny.

"I will." He told me with determination laced in his voice.

"No one is drinking. Am I clear?" He questioned giving Sami the big brother look that means no argument.

"Okay." Sami responded in small voice. Hearing that I released a relief sigh.

"But there different ways to enjoy the party." She informed us and continue dragging me. I give puppy eyes to him but he only shoot me sorry smile.

After one hour in party I was ready to pull my hair out because of headache. For full hour she was dragging we dance, playing games in which I have no interest.