the garden [sophia lillis]

[two]

"you're going to die anyway"

-

"Ready girls?"

I ran out of sight of the Captor that was patrolling in the garden and slipped through a slight passage and into a secluded area where I could relax. I had a nightmare again last night; the same one as usual. I should be used to this recall of events by now, but for some reason I am not. I keep tricking myself into believing that I'm home.  

"Come on, get into line"

Looking to my left just to check that no one could see me, my feet mechanically slid into first position despite the deep feeling of embarrassment that was forming in the pit of my stomach. I hadn't done this in awhile, not since I came here. It was so natural for me before, but as well as my life, future and dignity, my sense of expression has been taken away from me.

"Okay, and..."

Imaginary music started to play; it was as if I was back home. It was as if I was in that damned nightmare again. I was no longer hiding from Captors in a facility, I was in the studio among other dancers. The relaxing music flowed throughout the room and the bevy of girls shushed themselves rather than each other. Once they settled down, it was time to begin, and so they did. Right foot in front. Pointed toes. Arms in front. Wrists flexed.

"Six, seven, eight"

I let the old feeling take back over me - the feeling of freedom. I scraped my foot round in the dust elegantly, my arms trailing off to the sides of me before following my foot round. I crossed my legs over and stepped on the very tips of my toes. My arms were now possessed, waving in perfect time with my feet, my wrist following behind slightly in usion. Now my right foot came round, arms following and twisting my entire body around, pushing me enough to turn delicately. My arms came up to my chest, them clasping together and pausing for a second - why did i ever think I had forgotten how to dance?

I stepped gracefully into the next area, not having a care in the world. Twirling and stepping with care, I travelled around the little room. I hadn't felt this free in a long time, not with half the world on your heels. Before turning another turn, I noticed the tuft of perfect hair that protruding from behind a slim wall of white painted brick. An once oak-wood brown coloured eye stared at me as he tried to hide away from the  fact that I had caught him peeping. 

"Oh," I said duly, my arms dropping from the final position they had stayed in -

"- hands together, leaning on left foot, and...head up, lovely Luc!"

"A spy" The boy moved out of his space and on into the room. He stood in front of me, I met his eyes, scary looking things with virtual pupils, he looked down at me. I silently thanked whatever God was really real for not letting me get integrated yet before he spoke.

"Can I see the dance again?" With bitter disgust, I spat a reply. This dance was my dance, Luc's dance. "Luc's special dance". Though now, it was much more than a dance; it's the only thing I half left to remind me of my old life. My normal life.

 I turned away, walking towards a short wall and nudging it with the sides of my toes to check it hadn't gone numb again. I almost freaked myself dead the last time it went numb - it was as if I was floating around the place instead of walking. I asked one of the older gardeners what I could do to help it, but they don't seem to talk much. I inspected the wall with my non-integrated eyes but it wasn't that interesting, it was just a plain wall. I do sometimes wonder what you can see with those fancy plates in replacement of your iris', but don't get myself caught up on the thought. I don't want to get myself about getting updated into an A.I. and seeing the world though a lens.