Thank You, Stranger. || Namjin ✓

23.

After Namjoon left, Seokjin made ramen and sat on the couch with a bowl of hot soup.

He was looking through the window, slowly getting lost in his nostalgic thoughts.
"Ugh, life was so much easier back then..." - Seokjin said out loud and took a sip from the bowl.

He remembered the time he graduated from high school. He still can feel mom's embrace when he gave her a diploma and dad's proud smile.

Since then I haven't given them a reason to be proud of me.. - Seokjin though feeling a slight pain around his heart. He knew they worry for him, but he just wasn't good at expressing emotions, especially not with the closest family members.

Seokjin remembered his first guy crush in high school - Lee Hongbin.

Hongbin was a year younger than Seokjin and they didn't have many chances of meeting each other in school, but that didn't affect their friendship. They would hang out at Hongbin's, since he lived with his dad only and his dad had to work a lot to be able to pay Hongbin's tuition.

Hongbin didn't acknowledge his dad's sacrifice at the time. He was that one guy in school who skipped a lot, went to so many parties, flirted with girls cuz he knew he was very attractive. But deep inside, he was unhappy. Unhappy because he was living in a lie.

Seokjin had been feeling the same way in that period, still finding it hard to accept he was different than the majority of his peers.

Back then, rumors were spreading in school regarding Seokjin's sexuality. It wasn't a secret Seokjin's got several love letters from different people. It was even more suspicios because he went to an all-boys school, so those letters had to be from male "fans".

The rumors of course came to Hongbin. Seokjin's parents were very wealthy at the time, which was enough to make Seokjin popular in school. The younger boy acted like he didn't pay attention to it, but deeply inside wanted to find out so badly if Seokjin was in fact gay or not.

One evening when Seokjin was about to meet his friends at the cinema, Hongbin met him as he was walking towards his house.

They officially met for the first time in the park located 200 meters from the cinema. Even though Seokjin was in a hurry, he started talking to Hongbin about some weird topics that made them laugh like crazy.

Seokjin was getting message after message, warning him to hurry up, but Hongbin and him had a great time talking about unimportant, but funny topics. And that's where chemistry was born.

They started hanging out a lot. They were seeing each other everyday, mostly to play video games at Hongbin's, listen to music or having weird conversations that only they found amusing.

One night Hongbin called Seokjin at around 2 am. He was so drunk he barely told Seokjin the address of the club where he was. Seokjin came with a taxi and saw his friend sitting on the small stairs on the side entrance of the club, barfing on the concrete.

He helped him stand up and led him to the back seat of the taxicab. When the taxi driver stopped in front of Hongbin's house, he helped Seokjin put his drunken friend sit on the couch in the living room.

Seokjin was very grateful and gave the driver a big tip. Even though the older man heavily refused to accept it, Seokjin eventually put the money on the man's pawn and closed his hand.

Seokjin saw vomit all over Hongbin's clothes and got him fully undressed. It was his first time seeing a naked guy and it was very weird to him. He put Hongbin under the shower, made him wash his teeth and dried his hair with a towel.

Hongbin was constantly mumbling something unintelligible and Seokjin wasn't really paying attention to it. When he finally put the drunken boy into his bed, the boy said something intelligible this time. Something that made Seokjin's heart skip for two seconds.

"I love you" was the only intelligible thing Hongbin said that night. Seokjin was left in shock because that was the last thing he would expect of Hongbin to say.

The drunk boy raised his back, put his hands around Seokjin's neck and gave him a passionate, but a sloppy kiss. That was also Seokjin's first kiss ever.

Seokjin's hormones were in chaos and his body went numb. He was so shocked from the kiss he impulsively pushed Hongbin away, which made the drunk boy hit his head on the wall. He passed out on his bed and immediately started snoring.

Seokjin fell on the floor where he kept sitting for five minutes cuz he couldn't stand up from the shock. When he got the strength in his arms, he stood up and ran out of the house, leaving it unlocked.

When Hongbin texted Seokjin the next day, he told him he had a blackout and the last thing he remembered was him puking outside the club and then waking up in his bed. Seokjin though the boy was telling the truth, but still couldn't forget those three specific and very fluently said words - I love you.

Seokjin tried not to think about those words and the kiss and continued his friendship on with Hongbin as it was before. Similar situations haven't occurred since then.

On Seokjin's graduation ceremony, Hongbin came with a bouquet of pink roses, which were Seokjin's favorite, and congratulated Seokjin on the successful three years he had.

Seokjin was very touched by those words and by the beautiful flowers and when he stretched his hands in order to take the bouquet, Hongbin embraced him harder than ever. Although Seokjin was a bit embarrassed, he hugged his best friend back without hesitating.

Some guys and their family members thought the scene was too much, but the two of them didn't care. They've never tried to get in the relationship. No one knew they were gays, not even them knew of each other, but that hug was something Seokjin will never be able to forget. That was a moment when destiny separated their lives and their strong friendship.

Seokjin was so lost in his thoughts he forgot to eat the ramen he made.

After he finished eating, he went to the bathroom and got under the shower. As usual, hot shower brought some unanswered questions in Seokjin's mind.

Why am I raped?
Why did I even ask to go to that fucking place again anyway?
And why did my life changed so much after I started living alone?
Why didn't I keep in touch with Hongbin or anyone from high school? I don't even know whether he's alive or not... - And many more things came to his mind. Answers unfortunately didn't come.

When he went outside the bathroom, he got dressed and was ready to go shopping. He wanted to look supremely extra for the party.

Just before he opened the door and was ready to go out of the apartment, his eyes met his reflection in the mirror. He came closer to the mirror's surface and looked deeply into his eyes. They were sparkling. Sparkling from the fear of not getting the answers.

"You'll find the answers, Seokjin. You must." - He said out loud and went outside, shutting the door.

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[Sorry for not making this chapter NamJin oriented, but it's essential for the story. Stay tuned..]