I Don't Love You: Clyde Donovan x Reader

Prologue

"When do you really not love someone anymore?

I've been asking myself that since we broke up. I've felt lonely before we were in our relationship, but it was nothing like this. When you weren't around I felt alone- but now, I feel much worse than lonely, I feel empty. It's like the piece of me that kept a constant smile is gone.

Now, I'm forced to sit here and wonder if this loneliness is such a bad thing. I loved you for all your flaws. I could never understand why you dogged on yourself the way you constantly did. You were damn near perfect in my eyes, but that being said, I knew our relationship wasn't good. I knew that we were toxic for each other, but I would've kept all the negativity to keep a guy like you...a guy so damn perfect.

Then something happened. I started to make a real friend who helped me realize how controlling you are. They showed me the abuse. They saw what kind of insecure asshole you really were, and gave me the love and care, so I no longer had to depend on you for it.

At that point, I had the support I needed if I didn't have you, but the problem was that I still wanted you. Because no matter how much everyone said to leave you because of how much you broke me, I still only saw how perfect you were.

Then there was a day where that girl I was before you broke out of me. It was a day you had lost it on me again for no apparent reason because your insecurities got in the way, and that timid girl who only knew a world revolved around you was pushed aside by that girl I was before you- the girl with confidence and knew what she wanted. So, when you threatened me with that breaking up bullshit, I accepted it. You didn't like that so much. I've seen you upset, but nothing like that. You've yelled at me before, but this was so much worse.

You wanted me back after that, but I couldn't. I couldn't do it, because I needed the space. I had to be alone to get to know me. Because, I lost myself being in love with you.

Though, I know myself well enough to know that in a week or two I'd unblock you. I'd start talking to you again, and I'd yearn for you.

So, I ask again, how do you know you're over someone?

Then I saw you were with her. The one girl that made me feel extremely insecure. There you were grabbing and kissing on her. I rejected Craig because I knew that I needed me own time to get over you, but you didn't. You were still that same asshole trying to hurt me, knowing that I'd hear about you and her.

It was at that point I saw your all your flaws. I saw that person everyone hated.

It was at that point I realized that I don't love you."