The New Girl In New Directions - A Glee Fanfic

Chapter 26

I miss him already.

My heart feels empty.

On the plane home I sit next to Kurt and we talked about broadway even though he could clearly tell I wasn't in the best of moods. Sam sat next to Santana. They dated, and Sam has probably already moved on and he's going to Santana again because she told me when we first met that they did it when they were dating, but I never talked to Sam about it.

"He loved you. I know, I can tell. He told all of the guys how much he loves you and it doesn't seem realistic, what he did. I hate to mention it, but maybe if we talked about it and you got all of it off your chest, you would feel better. "

"Talking about it how?" I ask him.

"By telling your love story, each word of it, everything that happened."

"Well, I first met Sam at my very first glee practice. I had just auditioned and Mr. Shue had everyone introduce themselves. He went last and in his sweet deep voice that does those cheasy but adorable impressions he does. The only open seat was next to him so that's were I sat. He had told me not to listen to Rachel who said I did a so so job on Brave and that I was amazing. Then we got the duet assignment and he underestimated his voice by saying 'Brooke, do you wanna do the duet assignment together? You can refuse, because your voice is so powerful and amazing and mine is... average.' And I agreed and told him he was probably amazing. We did Everything Has Changed and I think we ironically chose a song that perfectly described how we felt after we sang it. When we won, he asked me if I wanted to go to Breadstix with him, because the prize was a free dinner there. We went out that night and we saw Santana and Britt but that was before we all became the new unholy trinity. Santana kept calling me a bitch and Sam defended me and by then I realized, he might be better than I thought. The next day he sang me Wanted. That song says everything I ever wanted to hear from a guy. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes, because I really did like him. Later that day, we went to the mall and it was sort of like our first thing we did as a couple. That was before Rachel's party. Later that day when Quinn was really upset about nobody dedicating Classic to her, Sam came to my house because my parents weren't home. I usually don't do that kind of thing, invite a boy over when I'm home alone overnight, but I felt like everything changed with him. We watched Catching Fire and I sat in his lap the whole time, another thing I usually wouldn't do, but like I said, everything changed with him. After that, he carried me to my room and we layed down together and we were making out and I was worried we were going to do something I wasn't ready for, but what he did was tell me he loves me. I never thought a guy would tell me that because of everything I had dealt with in the past made me pessimistic about love. Then we had that triple date. If Quinn and Finn hadn't been there, it would have been great because I love you and Blaine so much. Then JBI released that blog thing about me sleeping with Puck and Sam sleeping with Quinn. I told him we should have 'separation' for a week. At the end of that week, he sang All of Me because he knew I love that song and that's how he felt. Those words were what I needed because I was feeling those feelings of freshman and sophomore year, I thought I was ugly and fat because people were saying I was but those words 'Love you curves and all your edges, all you perfect imperfections' are what I needed to be reassured of. That night, we went to his house and I met his parents and we sang Lucky for them, because those words are true, 'I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend' because I wasn't always on great terms with Santana, because she didn't like me at first, so he really was my best friend. Then we went up to his room, I sat in his lap and we mad out on his bed and when I started to feel, uncomfortable because of were his hands were, he apologized because that's how amazing he was and he knew I didn't want a repeat of my first boyfriend. Then we cuddled up together and we watched Shane and Jenna for hours. We didn't need to speak, I just needed to feel him next to me. On our way to New York, I told him about what you said, that maybe broadway is what I should think about for my future and he said he had no idea what his future was and he didn't have to tell me, but I knew what he was thinking, that I was in it, because he was always in mine. But when I saw him kissing Quinn, I fell apart inside. I can't believe him. Quinn said that he wanted to have sex with her but not once did he tell me that, but like I said, we would make out on each others beds as if we were about to and he would put his hands a little high. I feel like I should hate him for what he did, but I can't, I feel like the one bad thing doesn't matter because of how many great things he did. I will always love him because, he love me more than I could ever asked for."

I know I'm crying.

"I know he wouldn't purposefully and willingly cheat on you. Something sounds wrong. We all knew how much he loves you, present tense (A/N: Looking for Alaska reference, anyone?)."

"I know, but I can't help but think he wanted to have sex with her because I wouldn't with him."

"Sam wouldn't do that, He stayed with Quinn when she wouldn't have sex with him before you cam along."

"So what should I do?"

"Write him a letter, tell him how hurt you were but that you love him and are willing to listen to him, but take your time with it and choose your words carefully."

I take out a notebook I have with me. It's more of a diary/songbook.

I start to scribble down,

'Sam, I know we have to talk about what happened in New York if we are to continue our relationship or even maintain a friendship when this is all over...'

I can't think of what to say though.

When we land and get on the bus to take us back home, Santana sits next to me.

"On the plane I sat next to Sam." She states plain fact.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because we wanted to talk about how he was going to win you back because you and him, are endgame. I could rant on about how much he loves you, but he already ranted to me, just like I know you ranted to Kurt."

I spend the rest of the ride in silence.

When we get back to Lima, I remember that I came with Sam, so I ask Rachel if she can take me home since I live really close to her.

"I can still give you a ride home, because, well I could launch into a million reasons why I want a few minutes alone with you, but you understand what I'm saying."

"No, Rachel's taking me home."

We talk about how exciting nationals and broadway was.

"You know, we aren't that different." I say.

"We both want the same thing, broadway. I think instead of being friendly competition, we should be actual friends."

She smiles and agrees.

When we get to my house, I get out of the car and thank her.

I unlock the door and my parents rush to the door.

I wait a minute, before exclaiming, 'WE WON!"

They hug me and congratulate me.

I tell them I am tired so I go to my room.

I think about the good and bad that happened and thank God I didn't end my life when I was in California because if I didn't I never would have joined glee club, helped my team win a national title, become somebody who everybody likes, met my best friends, become a cheerio and I never would have fallen in love with my first love, the boy I will love forever

Sam Evans