Niall One Shots

Too Much to Ask

Part 1 is found: Ch. 13: And I Write Again, I Love You

Part 2 is found: Ch. 53: Even Though You Don't Mean It

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Niall waited for you to come back. He tried to not remember the door shutting him in the house, the door shutting him out of your new flat... he only tried to remember how it was when you two were together. How no matter what was going on and happening around the two of you, all you had to do was look back at him and smile. Your face lit up the sun and brought Niall to life.

Your smile haunted him, frequently. He closed his eyes your grin was painted on the inside of his eyelids.

He needed to stop waiting for you and needed to start waiting there for someone else.

That in and of itself was impossible.

It was getting fucking sad. He would see other women look his way but all he could do was study their features and find your likeness in them. The blonde had your smile, the brunette had your kind eyes, the black hair had your smile... he didn't see the woman as potential ladies in his life. He saw pieces of you.

Niall pulled out his phone and stared at the text chat you two had. His eyes traced over the "I love you" even though you didn't mean it.

He knew you'd blocked him and he knew you wouldn't get the messages, but it didn't stop him. "Love, do you feel this rough? Why's it only you I'm thinking of?" He watched the message send, but never deliver.

It was pitiful, really, every time his phone went off his heart would jump, every buzz caused him to hold his breath, and every photo that he had of the two of you in his photo stream made him tear up.

Niall locked his phone and shook his head. He blinked back the tears and stood up, the lamplight casting a warm glow around the room. It should feel warm, it should feel loving, and homey. But all he can focus on is how he can see his shadow, only his, dancing around the room without you.

Niall turned off the light quickly and started down the hall to his room, his heart hoping you'd walk in tonight. That you would tell him that you regret leaving, regret moving on...

Because if he was honest with himself, Niall wasn't over you yet.

It was cold and quiet. The absence of you was deafening. It left him fumbling in the dark, trying to forget the space you made for yourself in his life. Forget the touch of your lips, taste between your legs, forget the way you looked at him when you said you loved him.

Niall laid in bed, eyes staring at the ceiling. Why couldn't he move on? Get over you? You obviously had done so, so why was this so hard for him?

He watched headlights flood over his window and settle on the back wall. He sat up, eyes watching the movement from outside, the lights coming down the drive, but they only paused at the sign. Then they were gone.

That happened way more than he liked to admit. He would see the headlights approach the house or hear what he thought was your car.

But it was never you and the feeling of disappointment washed over him each time and it was ridiculously pathetic.

With one last check of the phone, just in case you responded, Niall laid down and turned onto his right shoulder. He tucked your pillow against him, cuddling it. It smelt of you and sometimes when he closed his eyes, he would forget you're not actually there.

Did you ever think of him?

Because all he could do was think of you.

-

He was restless in his sleep and woke before the sun came up. Niall was on his back again-he never had that problem when you were there. Your side of the bed was cold, your pillow's scent was slowly being overtaken by his scent. Niall was not only losing you, but losing himself.

He couldn't sit too long in the kitchen because his mind would draw up memories of you singing and baking... he couldn't properly watch a footie game without imagining you bringing him a beer and cuddling in his lap... he couldn't get a proper shower in because of amount of times Niall held you up against the wall and made you cum so loud, the neighbors called in a complaint... he couldn't even wank properly without getting teary eyed, because he had to think of you. He couldn't eat, barely slept, his phone was his constant companion, because he never knew when you'd finally come back. If you would-he prayed you would.

After wrestling with his thoughts he tried to force sleep to comeback to him but it wasn't happening. He cursed to himself and fixed himself a cup of English breakfast tea. He forced himself to his porch and sat outside, watching the sunrise.

Niall checked his phone out of force of habit, hoping you'd respond. He sighed and stared at the undelivered, blue messages before sending another. "Don't it feel fucked it we're not in love?" He bit on his nail. "Because to me, it's fucked."

He sighed as the sun washed over him. He watched the warm sunshine engulf him, but he felt cold. His shadow was still there, mocking him as it danced without you, he'd still be hoping you'd walk through that door when night came, he'd still be hoping you'd tell him everything you regret, all because he wasn't over you yet.

That's all Niall wanted, was to be over you, starting with someone new.

Is it too much to ask?