Vampire Academy Dimitri's point (Lost in darkness)

Chapter 4

We're staying the night HERE... one night... i have to survive one night here! I'm really pissed off and my depression is slowly comming back. I did everything to forget this place, the memories here, even Rose!!  I tried to forget about Rose.... the things i did to her. The things that i did to just innoncent people. The people that i killed.... I wish i just could to forget it all.

But. I. Can't.

Why do we always slowly forget our most happiest memories in our life??  Why can't we also forget our baddest menories?

I think i just have to get over it... sounds easy, but it's defenitly not! How can you get over it??? How can you forget about it?? How can you live with it? How can you forgive yourself????

*TIMES LAP TO THE HOTEL, IN HIS ROOM*

We arrived at the hotel at 7.00 pm. We travel when it's day and not night, because it's much safer and easyer.

Gardian Huston said i have to rest much because tomorrow i going to be a long day. But i can't sleep. So i'm just running around in my room, just thinking about a lot of stuff.

It's now 2.15 am and i still can't sleep. All i'm thinking about is the time when i was a strigoi and Rose my own bloodwhore.

Just thinking about the words 'strigoi' and 'bloodwhore' made me shiver.

What can i do about it all?? I don't want to hurt Rose, my lovely Roza. but i already did... What can i do about it to let her and me forgive myself.

...but i know the anser... i always knew the answer... I HAVE TO LEAVE

But can i? Can i just walk away from my problems? Can i leave averything behind?  I never did such thing ever. I'm a Belikov! and a real Belikov don't run away from anything! But i don't think i'm the name Belikov worth.

I know what i'm going to do... I'M GOING TO RUN...RUN AS FAR AS I CAN...FROM ROSE...

I can stay in Russia for my secret mission and i'm not going to leave soon...i have to think about a lot...and i will do it alone. Maybey i could search my family up and stay with them, to protect them.

But if i make this decision i will have to leave the love of my life. I'm going to miss here really hard. But if she was here eith me, it wouldn't help to think straight.

I'm getting tired so i finaly can go to sleep.

I know what i'm going to dream about...the same nightmere as....ALWAYS!!

**********

Hey i'm sorry for the late update and for short chapter !! but i had a really hard time. And i don't know when the next chapter is comming because i have to study a lot, 'cause of the many tests i get now.

But thx for the reads and all :)

Please read,vote,comment or follow ;)

thx!! :D

~YourBookworm!!! stay peachy