Deep Blue

Chapter One

  The lights dimmed around the club, making the spot light on the stage the center attention. The announcer, Effrin, appeared on stage bringing everyone to silence.

''Beautiful sisters, pimpin' brothers may I have your attention please.'' Effrin announced. I turned toward the stage with my full attention to Effrin wondering what this fool is about to do.

''We have a next sister in the building with a soul that will have you craving for more and make you wanna get you life checked for real,'' He emphasized. The crowd chuckled softly. He scanned through the crowd making eye contact with me before a wink flashed towards me. I smiled before looking away, rolling my eyes playfully.

''She's gorgeous, intelligent, influencial, soulful, poetic, and ...did I say gorgeous?' Goddamn!" He exclaimed. Chuckles went around the room accordingly. I smirked, blushing inside with embarrassment knowing he was talking about me.

''Okay, okay okay. . . without further or due, lets give it up for the beautiful Sister . . . Naomi'." The crowd snapped their fingers quickly in a sort of rhythm. Although I was in awe, I didn't want to make a fool of myself and not go up to the stage. I placed my glass on the bar counter before making my way towards the front.
Eyes scowled against my skin as the attention was directed towards me. I stepped on the stage taking the mic from Effrin. He hugged me, slipping a kiss on my cheek and a slight tap on my ass.

''Your welcome, good luck chump'' He whispered. I pinched him so no one can see. I'm going to kill you after this," I gritted in between my teeth. He laughed before walking off.

I glanced at the crowd watching the owl eyes pierce my insides. My palms began to sweat as I placed the mic on the mic stand. I let out a deep breath as the snapping descended. The soft harmony  instruments began to play slowly behind me. I closed my eyes as my worries and pain crept back into me. I nodded my head swiftly to the beat, pursuing my thoughts out loud:

''The world keeps spinning on,
but I wish it could go backward instead.
Who have I become, where have I gone?,
I don't even know what goes on inside my own head.
I am not this person I have become,
I never was and thought I never would be.
This is someone else,
This is not me. . .
My priorities have shifted,
I value things that once meant very little.
I search for things to fill the gap,
but only find things that are noncommittal.
Happiness in one night packages,
is what fills my life now.
I'm not sure why,
I'm not sure how.
I want more,
but do I deserve it?
This battle is repeated inside my head,
but I will never truly admit it.
I know I could do more I know I could be greater.
But in my own head,
I am a master debater.
I'm so afraid of failing,
that while I hide that's exactly what I'm doing.
I have so many hopes and dreams
but are any of them even worth pursuing?
What if I fall flat on my face?
In front of everyone I know and love?
But then again I could be better than I expect,
go beyond and above.
You never know what the future holds,
only what has happened in the past.
In order to make your future what you want,
you better live in the present while it lasts.
Seize each day,
and do what makes you happy.
For no one can see what lays ahead,
whether it be great or crappy.
I may not know who I have become,
but I do know who I want to be.
I want to be present in my life,
no more being an absentee.
The past is the past,
and the future lays before us.
The old me,
I will repossess. ''

I opened my eyes to be commenced to a uproar of snapping. I smiled even though I knew it wasn't on of my best poems but it rocked the house. I bowed and thanked the crowd before handing the mic to Effrin. He smiled.

"Wait for me'' He whispered. I nodded before stopping for him at the end of the  steps, He jumped unto the stage, facing the crowd.

"I told y'all she was something, y'all like that huh?'' He asked. People in the crowd snapped furiously and whistling and roars came upon the room. I smiled looking down. Effrin glanced toward me proudly.

''Well hopefully we'll see more of this beauty for performances.'' I rolled my eyes. He knows how I feel about letting my heart out towards people I don't know. This was the only an exception because I was put on the spot.

''In about 10 minutes, we'll have the next act to perform, y'all wait out for me, there are drinks being served and joints being lit. I'm going to let my brothers play a piece for y'all. Don't be shy to hit the dance for and have a good time" Effrin announced. The musicians immediately played their instruments on Effrin's cue. I saw him smile widely at me before jogging down the steps. I rolled my eyes, walking away.

''Wait Naomi'' He shouted before catching up. He swung his arms around me as I made my way to the bar.

"You did amazing ma'' He complimented me. I let out a breathe before sitting down. I smacked him on his thigh hard before he sat next to me.

"Don't you ever set me up like that again'' I demanded, pointing my finger at him. He laughed.

''Come on Ni, I knew you wasn't gonna do it, so I had to do something, push you out there. You have so much talent and hurt'' I smacked my teeth. He always says this thinking it's going to change my reckless anxiety.

''Yeah but still, with my poetry I like to keep them to myself, you know?'' I said looking at the different drinks lined up behind the bartender. I needed a drink but ached that I can't have one. I heard Effin sigh before grabbing my hands.

''I know what you been through, but look Ni, that pain can help other get though situations too. People like to hear about love and shit, don't be selfish, share that soul girl'' He preached tickling my side. I sat up and laughed.

''Don't do that boy'' I hit his arm. He laughed.

''So you coming to my house after or going home?'' He asked. I checked my phone from my bra, it was near 1 am. 

''Probably with you, it's kinda too late to sneak back in the house. You know how my mom's new boy toy be with them dog ears''. I explained. I laughed along with Effrin.

''Alright, give me 30  and we'll be out'' I nodded. He kissed my forehead when he got up. I watched him leave and looked back at the drinks on the wall.

''Do you wanna drink sweetheart?'' The bartender asked as he saw my eying the bottles. I smiled and was just about to order when I heard Effrin. 

''No drinking Naomi'' He yelled. I rolled my eyes. He's always in my business.

''Cranberry juice please'' I responded to the guy. He chuckled before giving me a glass of juice. The reality finally hit me, I just performed one of my poems for the first time. A smile crept my face of relief and accomplishment.