"adopted"

Broken and Confused

Dan went up to his room and I stayed downstairs. Then it hit me like a 200 pound brick.

My heart sunk and I felt physically ill. I suddenly had the realization that no one really cared anymore. I had no one but Dan but he lived without me before. No one had any use of me and I was honestly questioning why I was even put on this planet. why was I even alive?

After a few moments of thinking about this, I just got up. I decided that I didn't care anymore.

I walked out to the street and I stared at the ongoing traffic. The cars passing swiftly by. The road calling my name, telling me, 'just step'. I couldn't handle one more agonizing second on this world.

I didn't know why I was doing this but I also kept telling myself that no one cared. Just Dan. Just..Dan. Dan.

He must have heard me close the door because I noticed him from the corner of my eye. No...why...please, Dan go inside, PLEASE! I screamed at myself in my head and finally told myself to shut up and step. So I did.

I walked out into the road just as a bus was going over the speed limit right in front of me.

Seconds before the bus had collided with my side, I heard Dan screaming and sobbing for me.

The bus's tire was on my hand and I felt the heavy weight of it, crushing my bones and cutting off circulation. The pain was almost unbearable but numb at the same time. I knew I had many broken bones on the side that the bus had hit me on, but I also noticed I was laying in a puddle of my own blood.

Dan sprinted up to me and the bus driver came out of the bus, sobbing heavily and apologizing so much. I would thank her if I could but she was freaking out and my lungs were crushed.

I felt the warmth of his hands on my cheeks and I heard the piercing sound of the ambulance a few feet away. Jesus, they're quick.

I felt the sensation of being lifted up onto a gurney and being taken onto the ambulance. Dan had followed.

**

Hours after arriving at the hospital, I overheard the doctor and Dan speaking to one another.

"She was and has not been eating as much food as we would like for her to be eating. She has malnutrition and a serious weight problem. She is obviously too skinny for her age. Make sure you feed her as much as you do and watch her with a close eye." the doctor spoke.

"I'll make sure she gets healthy again. How do you think she is going to be..?" Dan asked.

"She might be in pain on the side the bus had impacted but other than pain from the cuts bruises, strained muscles, and bruised bones she will be fine to do normal things. Her hand, though, is broken and will need to have a cast put on it."

Dan sighed at the doctor's response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up and Dan was in the room. He looked up at me and quickly walked over. I slowly sat up and I was in agonizing pain. My hand felt like it wasn't even there, it felt so numb, and my whole side was hurting. My muscles felt like I had been working out for three weeks straight with no breaks, and the cuts and bruises were sore, as well. Ugh.

"What were you thinking..?" Dan asked.

"That no one cared." I simply answered.

"Addy. I care about you more than anything else on this entire planet. To be honest, I have no clue how I lived without you before I went to the orphanage. You filled a void in my heart. You're my other half."

I half smiled at him and kissed his cheek. It was painful to breath or speak and he understood that. I wanted to tell him so much but it just hurt so incredibly bad.

The next few days, I was very slowly recovering in the hospital. Dan would come to my room and visit me everyday. I would always tell him how much I loved him all the time.

After a few weeks, I woke up from a heavy sleep in Dan's bed. The pain was no longer there, and I only had a wrap around my hand.

I propped myself up on my elbows and looked around, happy to be home. I then sat up and began walking out into the hallway where I literally ran into Phil.

"Whoa, I'm sorry, Addy." he apologized. I looked at him with a confused expression on my face.

"How do you know my name...?" I questioned him.

"Dan never shut up about you and how much fun you guys had together. He said how much of an amazing friend you are."

I looked down, realizing that I had to keep the fact that me and Dan were together a secret, and also realizing that I had absolutely no scars on my wrists.

I looked back up at Phil and forced a smile. He smiled back and walked to his room. I quickly ran to the bathroom and stared into the mirror. I closed and locked the door.

I pulled out my razor and placed it on my skin. I put pressure on it and ran it from left to right. Before I knew it, there were seventeen new cuts on my arm.

I watched blankly as the blood flowed quickly from my arm to the sink.

I heard a knock on the door and my heart sank.

"Addy..? You okay in there?" I heard Dan ask quietly.

"I'm fine." I whispered in response. I heard the turn of a small key unlock the door. Crap.

I quickly moved my wrist so it wasn't facing him and turned on the sink so he couldn't see the blood.

"Are you sure you're alright..?" he asked once more. I nodded my head and looked into his eyes.

He smiled a bit and walked over to me. I began to slowly back away with a half smile on my face. He caught up with me and wrapped one arm around my waist. He pulled me close to him and stared into my eyes lovingly.

He then kissed me so passionately and it was even better than the first time we ever kissed. It was like a dream.

I wrapped my arms around him and he wrapped his arms around me. I then forgot that my arm was bleeding and I'm sure he noticed but didn't care as long as I showed no pain.

He picked me up and backed out of the door, still kissing me. We walked into his bedroom and he gently placed me on the bed. He kneeled down in front of me and kissed me gently. By now, the blood has smeared on his shirt and was splattered all over my arm.

We didn't care.