Be More Chill, Dante! {Vylante BMC AU}

Chapter 3: The ZANE Song

*Dante*

I pushed open the bathroom door, stumbling in. It was just after play rehearsal, and mostly everybody was heading home. I swung my backpack off of my shoulder, and onto the edge of the sink. Grabbing a paper towel, and some soap and water, I tried scrubbing off the 'BOYF'. I was already ridiculed enough, didn't need this to ruin my reputation more...

"I told you not to wash that off," I heard a voice grumble, followed by the slamming of the door.

Garroth, again...

I merely ignored him, and just busied myself with my backpack. "Where's my homework?"

"I'm talking to you, tall-ass!" Garroth snapped from the side of me, slamming his hands down on the sink.

"Why do you keep calling me that? I'm not even that tall!"

Garroth rolled his cyan-coloured eyes, and headed over to a urinal. I looked away from him, and decided to just give up. How the heck can I get away from any more conversation with him? Oh! A stall! Yup.

"You could be, if you weren’t hunched over all scared all the time. The only thing more pathetic is the way you’re sneaking off to a stall to get away from me," Garroth huffed, and I froze- busted. Damn it! I could've gotten away with it, too! What is he? A wizard or something? "Stall's for girls. You a girl, Dante?"

"How can you talk to people while you're..," I cleared my throat, turning my gaze to the bathroom floor. "...Y'know."

"Confidence," he answered with a shrug.

"You might wanna…watch the floor…" I glanced up, and pointed at him, as if he was looking at me. Because suddenly, Garroth is twitching. It's almost as if he's receiving like a message from beyond. Like, that weird and strange. And now, he's muttering  to himself under his breath. That's totally not creepy at all... "Uh… I just remembered I don’t have to pee after all--"

"Don't move!" Garroth snapped, and I froze in place. He...finishes his buisness, and turns around to stare at me. I bit my lip, too afraid to do anything. What has gotten into him? "You don't remember me freshman year, do you?"

"You didn't go here freshman year--"

"YETH I DID!" Garroth pounded the nearest wall, causing me to jump, startled. "SEE?! You juth didn' notith..." Is that a lisp? Does Garroth have a lisp? That's new... "Nobody did..."

Garroth ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair- which had a red streak up the center of it, just in case you were curious. He leaned up against the nearest sink, shoving my backpack off the edge of it. Aw, come on man! First you write embarrassing stuff on it, the next you're throwing it on the ground?! Not cool!

{***}

"Freshman year, I didn't have a girlfriend, or a clue... I was a loser, just like you! Good times would only soar by," Garroth started with a sigh, as he flipped his hair out of his eyes. "I was gross, as every female would attest. My sexting was a futile quest! My little penis was depressed. It was so lonely. Poor guy..."

TMI, dude. TMI.

"I was hopeless, hopeless! I was helpless, helpless!" He continued, jumping to his feet. "Every time I'd walk the hallway, I would trip! I was stagnant and idle, I was so suicidal. And then, then then then then, then--"

Is he still going?

"--then, then then, then then--"

I think he's broken! Somebody fix him! Or don't, actually, that'd be good, too...

"--then then, I got a ZANE!"

Okay, guess he isn't broken anymore-- Wait, what did he say?

"You got lame?" I rose an eyebrow, crossing my arms. That seems rather counter-productive.

"Not lame. ZANE."

Wha? Like the name? I don't get it.

"I've just never heard of it before..."

"That's the point. This is some top-secret-can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet shit," Garroth slowly walked over to me, urging me to bend down to his level. Which, I did, oddly afraid of him. "It's from Japan..," he whispered, backing up a little. "It's a grey, oblong pill. Quantum nanotechnology CPU... The quantum computer in the pill, will travel through your blood, until it implants in your brain, and it tells you what to do..."

"What? That's not even possible--" Suddenly, I was being shoved against a wall by him. Wow, okay.

"Shut up, tall-ass!" He paused, before letting go and dropping me. He cleared his throat, wiping his hands on his shirt. "Sorry, old habits... Look, I apologize for treating you like human garbage all the time. I only did it 'cause my ZANE said I had to. But, now it's saying you're not a bad guy. That you might want a ZANE of your own. 'Course, if you're not interested…"

"So it's like," I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Drugs?"

That response earned a small scoff amd chuckle from Garroth. "It's better than drugs, Dante..," he paused, probably for some sort of dramatic effect...

Well? What is it then--

"IT'S FROM JAPAN!" Oww, I think my eardrums are bleeding. "IT'S A GREY OBLONG PILL! QUANTUM NANOTECHNOLOGY CPU! THE QUANTUM COMPUTER IN THE PILL WILL TRAVEL THROUGH YOUR BLOOD, UNTIL IT IMPLANTS IN YOUR BRAIN, AND IT TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO! IT TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO!"

I am totally going to be deaf after this. Hooray!

"It's pre-programmed! It's amazing! Speaks to you directly!" Garroth continued, with a certain glimmer in his eye. "You behave as it's appraising! Helps you act correctly... Helps you to be cool... It helps you rule!"

If this is all true...I have to get myself one! If I'm cool, then Vylad would have to notice me!

"PICTURE THIS!" Garroth interrupted me from my thought process. He's still going with this? He already has me sold! "Nobody cares if you are late, 'cuz even teachers think you're great! Your weekend's just a full-on slate of blowout benders! Of teenage rockstar splendors!" Garroth grabbed the sides of my face, pulling my head down to match eye level with him, again. "Right now you're helpless, helpless! You are almost hopeless! On the school social map, you're just a stain. But, if you take my advice, and if you pay the listed price, well, then you go from sad to interesting, then you'll reign! Yeah, your whole life will change! When you buy a ZANE!"

Where can I buy one of these things?! If they truly work like Garroth says the do, then I can become popular and cool in no time!

As if reading my thoughts, he finished with, "I got a hook-up, this guy works at Payless Shoes at the Phoenix Park Mall. It's six hundred."

"Dollars?" Holy shit, that's a lot of cash.

"It's worth it. Bring the money on Monday. You’ll see," Garroth started to head out of the bathroom.

"Aren't you gonna wash your hands?"

"Aw, man, Dante. You know what you need?" He swung open the bathroom door, giving a small wave. "A ZANE! A ZANE! A ZANE! No longer mundane, when you got in your brain, a ZANE!"

After that strange encounter with Garroth, I headed home. But, all that was on my mind, was that ZANE thing. It sounds way too good to be true...

So, I did the first thing any person should do, when they hear about something odd- look it up on the internet, to read anything they can find about it... I know that Garroth said you can't find anything any information about it... But, this is the internet we're talking about, here!

"It's from Japan..," I muttered under my breath, as I continued my probably futile search. "It's a grey, oblong pill... Quantum nanotechnology CPU... The quantum computer in the pill, will travel through my blood, until it implants in my brain, and it tells me what to do..."

It helps me to he cool! It helps me rule...

~~~