Micah Vallenti has been in the closet all his life, taking his time in coming to terms with his sexuality as well as himself. Everything all of a sudden changes the second he gets outed by a boy he had trusted and known for years. Broken, dismayed...
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I let out a series of blinks as I stared out into the dark, misty distance. It was late at night and I haven't been able to sleep.
I figured chilling by the playground which only stood a few blocks away from my house was a much better alternative than being locked up in my room just to lifelessly stare up at my roof.
I watched my body lightly swing and hover off the sand. My unexplainable state of numbness was enough to drown out everything around my surroundings, including the squeaking of the swing set as well as the sound of the birds chirping in the distance.
I knew my heart was beating but it also felt like it wasn't there at the same time. I felt like I was slowly losing every part of myself to the point of being unable to retrieve it.
All I could remember were the days when Brandon and I would meet here, taking turns pushing each other on the swing before comfortably laying on the dewy grass to count the stars and wonder where we'd be in a few years.
I closed my eyes shut and welcomed an inhale that coalesced with the thin breeze hugging against my flushed cheeks and messily ruffled hair. I remember he used tell me that 'I hope we can we be like this forever' and I'd take my vision off the stars in the sky to meet the ones in his eyes. I repeatedly answered 'yes' and would later follow it up with a soft tender kiss made on his cheek.
A tear uncontrollably trails down my flushed cheek as the aftermath of everything that happened this week began to sink in.
I think Brandon really fucked me up...
I eventually return back home, spending the rest of my sleepless night reading over my DM's that didn't fail to make me painfully cringe.
"Hey bro, I heard the rumor and I lowkey wanna smash."
"Ew why are you gay? I had the biggest crush on you."
"You prove that the hottest ones are always gay."
"Can you likes totes be my GBF? I'll let you shop for me!"
"Dude you're going to hell. That shit is so fucking nasty."
"I'll pray for you to be straight again because being gay is a choice and is a very wrong one."
This is so ridiculous. I just deeply sighed to myself as the messages progressively got more hateful making me go to my settings and permanently deleting all of my social media. I then buried my phone into my pocket with an exhausted sigh.
"Mom, I don't think I'm ready. I look like a mess from crying yesterday and I've been stress eating. I feel like I'll be judged in that camp." I tiredly spoke as I ran my hand through my hair, proceeding to throw on my hoodie so people don't see how much of a washed up rat I look today.
My mom quickly replied as she turned the car engine on, the radio starting to play in the background. "You look fine, get over it. This camp is meant to be a place for you to be comfortable and meet people without having to worry about your outfit or how good you look. You'll be okay Micah." She threw me a small comforting smile, then finally beginning to drive.
