Despair and desperation

Beginnings/Purity

Hope and joy,
bountiful and overflowing.
Came from the depths of my soul,
fragile but pure.
Untainted with the sins of humanity,
a species of such unadulterated brutality.

There I lay,
with eyes filled with innocent wonder.
As they took in the colors of the large, never-ending sky.
Blue with white, such simplicity yet so unfailingly beautiful.
If this is the world,
it is beautiful like no other.

Grasping tightly to my Father's soft, gentle hands,
I was slowly pulled away from my wonder-filled stare at the heavens,
and met with his kind smile.

I followed him, as we walked back home.
Back to a slowly-crumbling family that I could not see.
So blinded by the ignorance I held,
I never questioned anything that was out of the ordinary.
Never asked why,
never asked when.
The cycle of ignorance and bliss never ends.

A small house of faded red,
entered my vision as our path came to an end.
Mother was not there as usual, though I did not mind.
Father told me that she was busy with work, so she could not always be there.
I did not mind, as Mother never noticed me.
I did not mind, as only Father seemed to raise me.

As I saw the foreign feeling of sadness swirl in his eyes, I could not understand.
Why was he sad?
I could not see, the growing divide between he and she.
Because I was blissfully unaware, with the blindfold of so-called innocence and purity.
Placed by the givers of my life.

As they softly wriggled into my eyes like parasitic worms.
Clouding them,
blinding them,
killing them with honeyed kindness,
never letting me know the truth.