Don't fear those with a gun.
They're scared. Harmless. They hide behind an object capable of mass destruction because they are cowards, afraid. It's their only way to protect themselves from the dangerous world lying outside their windows.
They seem though, badass, even able to arise the fear inside you, but don't be fooled by the way that their reflexes quickly move at the speed of light, they are not your enemy.
Fear us.
Fear the slackers, the ones at the back of the class, staring off into space, in our own little world. With doodles on our notebook covers, and plummeting grade point averages, because our minds are much too busy, and hands much too weak, to pick up a pencil and focus ourselves to focus. "Why try when nothing matters?", We tell ourselves every day. And sometimes we're told we're "throwing our lives away". But what no one seems to realize, is that we don't want our lives. Your words go into one ear, and fly out the other. In time, you'll learn you shouldn't even bother. We're past saving. And when you're to broken to even care anymore, what's the point of living? So we plug our headphones in, and let life fly us by. What's one more day in Hell?
Fear the stoners, the ones who spend their days high in the cemetery, just trying to forget. Turning their emotions off, they blast 90s rock so loud that they lose the ability to feel, ignoring the world, shutting out everything imaginable, including their minds, because their even thoughts are dangerous. Unable of feeling fear, with darkness in their eyes and a certain gloom in the way they hold themselves, dark circles under their red veiny eyes, they take their pain away, coping in their own twisted methods, because it's all they know.
Those who force themselves out of bed every day when every muscle in their body is aching with pain, but not physical pain, because that is endurable, but the kind of pain that males you want to scream at the top of your lungs, tear the hair out from the roots, and throw and break Everything in sight, and cry until you can't feel your body shaking, suffering the most intolerable torture, heartbreak.
The ones with heavy footsteps and tear stained cheeks, with crippling depression, their hope collapsing out of their hollow bodies, barren and depleted. They who go through their days numb and dazy, there, but not really there, lost in their own thoughts, their own personal Hell.
Fear us musicians, for we can set all Hell loose with the strum of a guitar. Fear us for out lyric contain every thing we can't say, and our music will tell you more about us than our mouths ever will. Fear us for we need devastation, we like our music loud, loud enough to drown our demons, and with them every thought in our mind.
Fear us writers, for we can move mountains, just by the power of words. We find the painful tragedies soothing, and the irony of death beautiful. We love the darkness and all it brings, and find beauty in each and every thing. Fear us for our words can set you on fire, full of passion and meaning. Fear us for our minds are full of chaos, screaming and crying, words begging to be talked, thoughts begging to be written, voices begging to be heard. All at once, so we sit and we bleed, we need to write, to feel calm, to sooth it all.
Fear us artists, for our sketch books hold the deepest of secrets, the naive and innocent mind can not comprehend. For we are torn and damaged, and you're pure and good. We see the emotion, the fear, the pain, the desperation, we smell it, we sense it. We draw what we can not say, splashes of ink on our bodies, souls so full of color, yet devoid.
Fear us rejects, fear us outcasts, fear us depressed, the antisocial, the strange, the derange, the ones shunned for our looks, and invisible in the crowds. Fear us rebels, fear us so called "losers" by the population.
Fear those who have been hurt, fear us who have been crushed by the people we thought we'd never lose, lied to by the ones we loved, and left by the ones who swore on the Bible they'd always be here.
Fear us with mental illnesses, for no cruelty or outrocoty you have ever seen can compare to the battlefields raging on in our minds.
Fear those who don't care with bruised knees and sore lips, Fear those who wouldn't blink if a gun was held up to their heads with bloody noses and breath like roses.
Fear us with scars and cuts under long sleeves, our akin aching to be thrashed open every night, tingling with the sensation, for pain is pleasure, and nothing feels better than slitting open our bodies, and satisfying the urge. For if we can destroy our own flesh, hiding the monsters we are to our own body, without remorse, imagine what we can do to you. Fear us who chose to take the pain away, with razors and pills and empty bathroom stalls, ripping ourselves apart, because it helps treat the aching.
Fear us with bloody sinks, death wishes and suicidal thoughts. Fear us who have the smell of smoke clinging to our clothes, and cigarettes as a metaphor.
Fear us who think it's beautiful how the blood oozes out of our skins, and are mesmerized by how beautiful our self inflicted bruises look like our own galaxies that we hold so very dear. On every part of our body, there lies the injuries we've caused, for all we've ever wanted to be was art.
Fear us with too many bracelets, who eat cotton like it's chocolate, and gag.
Fear us with eating disorders, we have endured the most excruciating pain imaginable, both physical and mental. Fear us who take pleasure in being empty, with noisy stomachs and spinning heads, skin as cold as ice and pale as a ghost. Lying to everyone we care about, and destroy those who get to close, because we can't let anyone in.
Fear us who can't go a day without screaming insults at the person we see in the mirror.
Fear us who laugh because if we didn't we would cry, those who take life as a joke because it isn't worth living anymore.
Fear us who you call crazy, because we have thoughts flying, buzzing, bitting at our heads, they spin and kick free and our heads are so chaotic that we learn to appreciate the beauty of silence, and the eerie vibe it brings, for we hate the people in our minds, who seem to never be pleased. Fear us with demons, voices that won't be silent no matter how hard we try to keep it surfaced so for one minute we can think straight.
Fear us with anxiety, scared to talk, scared to be, scared to take up space in the world, hiding under shadows, invisible, as non excitant as the world let's us be.
Fear us not afraid of earth violently exploding into oblivion. Fear us with troubled past and broken promises. Fear us with childhood memories and happy pasts, questioning where our parents ever went wrong and we got so fucked up along the way.
Fear us who stand tall as skyscrapers, and show our strength in how we choose to fight, who are not afraid to stand up, to talk back.
Fear us hot messes, with not short enough days, and caffeine through our bones, working for money, trying to get out of this small city that has no space for our dreams. Who get criticized and mocked, for having hopes that we'll make it someday.
Fear us who love education, and learning, new places and new people, Yet hate the idea of school because of bullies and drama. Fear us who have been silenced by the education system, and had our minds molded into what their idea of an education is. Fear us with stifled creativity and duct-taped mouths that prevent us from speaking and fighting back. Fear us who are told to be quiet, and not make a sound, for our ideas are wrong, and paper quizzes determine how smart you are, nothing but grades on pieces of paper, those determine our intelligence, because nothing else we have to offer will ever be enough.
Fear us who wake up every single morning afraid to go to school because of the thought that someone might harass us and the adults will obviously turn their heads the other way, because as long as you're here, nothing else counts. At least not to them.
Fear us deprived of the human rights we deserve and embarrassed in front of others when we're told to cover up our bodies for we are sexual beings who can't be a "distraction".
Fear us suicidals, for we are scared of no one and nothing. Fear us kids who have nothing else to lose because we have already lost everything.
Don't fear people holding weapons of mass destruction, fear us, for goddamn, we are the mass destruction.
/ I'm not gonna have an exact updating schedule on this "story", since it's poems and stuff taken from my journal or newly written when I have something on my mind/something I need to get of my chest.
Anyway I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to vote, maybe leave a comment if you like :) /
YOU ARE READING
Words I'd Never Say
Poetry"If today were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you're about to do today?" Poems & quotes from my journal
