Letters to myself

Letter #1

Okay so right now you're on my mind, it's nothing bad it's all good. I know you're hurting and truthfully I don't want you to and I know I'm there to keep your mind off of her and I mean that's not what I'm even thinking about. I'm more thinking about if you actually mean the things you say, like when you say "I love you and I miss you" and even when you call me your baby. I mean truthfully I'm really happy when you're around ant it makes me feel needed and wanted around. Cause oof I haven't felt as happy as I am since last summer, like I guess grace made me happy but I knew shit was on the rocks before she even decided she didn't want me anymore. I dunno I just get afraid when anything good comes into my life and I'm afraid that you might leave, friend or lover, i'm just afraid because when something good comes around it always finds a way to leave me and I just hope you never really leave anytime soon because you're are one of those really good people I'm afraid of loosing but also the fact that I've come to truthfully love in such a short amount of time. But maybe I shouldn't feel special because there's still other people? I'm not sure but I want to feel special cause fuck I love you and I'm not sure if you're thinking of me as just helping because fuck my feelings are confusing when I start to love someone and I can tell someone they're different a million times over but either way I just hope you never go and leave me cause that shit would break my heart

~-------------------~
AUTHORS NOTE:
this letter book I'm writing is maybe mostly about this girl that I developed feelings for over these past two months and basically as an explanation she just makes me feel so different and I end up crying over it cause she doesn't love me the same way I love her but my feelings for her is set our and confusing but yeah I hope you enjoy this jump into a more personal part of my life :)