The Dead Circus

Chapter Two: Carousel Dream

15 years old now, so many years have past, but it's not over yet. My mother's death phases me still, my father gave me up for adoption. Nobody took me in for two years, I was finally adopted when I was 13. My father... aha, that old fool. I don't know where he is now, but I know where I am. Feels like I'm floating, but, I'm dying inside. Literally. Being Half zombie, half clown, half girl. It's not fun. Every midnight, I get up. Every midnight, I remember what I did. I remember how'd feel like a corpse trapped in a coffin, which makes sense, I'm a zombie. I remember trying to make my cousins laugh as if I were a clown, they'd cry. Tears poured down my cheeks every time, every time they'd scream. Something awful happened yesterday... something awful happens every month and every week, it's a routine. I'm a hideous creature inside, no more innocence, no more mercy. "Kill me" I'd say, "Don't comment, you don't know what I do" I'd say. My mind races every single day, but, dear reader. This is my story and you might want to leave some lights on, maybe you could also relax. Ladies and Gentlemen! Please stay in your seats and enjoy the show...Shhhhh...

"Today is my fifteen birthday" I told Mary, she rolled her eyes. "Go play with your brother, he's in the lounge room." I sighed and walked to see a black, fluffy cloud of a lounge. The walls were sad and grey, like rusty metal and peeled white coat of paint. The carpet was a bright diamond shade of blue dye wool, it looked too rich. The walls had paintings of red roses and trees that shone at night in the dark. The coffee table was made of crystal, clear glass and dyed red. The lamp stood over the T.V. and was made of gold. This was one "rich" family. I loathed that. I stopped in my tracks and looked up at the chandelier which looked as if blood had been poured right onto the top of the crystals and glasses. I was disgusted by that, money doesn't matter, we're all going to die and it'll be worthless. I looked to the T.V. Elmo was playing a weird song from the 90's and I almost chuckled, such a young kid listening to this crap. Blake was my "fake" brother's name, he waved at me and pulled a face. "Keep that face and when the wind blows, it'll be stuck forever." I said bluntly, he pretended to be scared and then pulled the face again and stuck out his slimy tongue. I dragged the bottom of my eye down with my index finger and pulled my mouth into a smile with my other and stuck out my dry, crumbled tongue. I bent over and made a sound with my voice that sounded of a screeching bat. He stopped and tears spilled on his cheeks, I stopped and straightened up. "Heh, loser." I told him as I plumped onto the soft, fluffy couch and lifted my feet up onto the coffee table into a relaxed position. Blake got up in a hurry, but forgot his shoe laces were tied together, so he fell with a thud and clutched his chest as if he got shot. "Nice one, kid." I told him and tilted my head to face him before returning my attention to the T.V.

He got up and tried running again, "Freak!" He managed to yell, but fell on his chest again. A laugh started to rise in my throat, but I tried to chuck it back down.  He then checked his pants and I just started laughing really hard. He shot his head up to and pointed at me with his index finger and shouted, "WHAT IS IT, WOMAN??" I cracked up even harder, 'Maybe I won't tell him.' I thought to myself and chuckled. He yet again got up and the result was the same, it got boring watching him fall and so I just told him. "Your shoelaces are tied together." I rolled my eyes and shooed him off with my free hand. I closed my eyes into total darkness and I sighed. 'The day is almost over.' I told myself, I opened my eyes and saw my older fake brother, he looked cross. I dragged my feet off the table and just at there while looking at the glossy T.V. screen. "Melinda-" I put up my hand to stop him, "It's Melaina, get it right." I snapped as he waved his hands as if to say, 'I don't care'. "Melinda-" I cut him off again, "If you don't use my proper name then just walk away like a clone of the shadows." "Fine. Melaina," "That's better." I folded my arms for him to continue his stupid speech. "Melaina, listen to me. You're just a silly little freak who doesn't care for household, so if you do not respect. Well, then get the punishment. You hear me?" "No, I didn't  because there's circus mice in my ears. Of course I heard you, Silly Billy." "Melaina Freak-a." He mumbled as he took a seat beside me. I grabbed the remote, but he caught my hand and tried to reach for the remote instead. I scraped his skin and reached for it, but ended in unattainable success. He poke his tongue and snatched the remote off me, I punched his arm and heard my fingers' bones snap. The pain soaked up my arm like sponge filling up with water, I immediately grabbed my hand back while he looked at it in shock.