No matter what I do, something makes me hate myself. And lord, do I hate myself. People love to point out my flaws, while they hide behind their own. Yes, I make mistakes, but everyone does. Mistakes are a normal part of everyday human life, and no one has ever been mistake free. But we're supposed to be allowed to take those mistakes, and learn from them. People shouldn't be allowed to take those mistakes and hold them against you. And yet, that's a thing that people do. They point out these mistakes, these flaws, and they laugh. They make you feel bad for trying to embrace what you did, for trying to fix yourself. And that, that makes it hard for you to want to fix yourself. Because why fix yourself when you're being ridiculed for it. The very thing that is supposed to make you better, is the thing that everyone sees as bad. In the end, will it matter? Will trying to fix yourself matter? Probably not. Life and trying to live brings on more toxins. Toxicity. It's the very act of living that is toxic. You're toxic. Everyone is toxic. Everything is toxic. And you can not fix that, because it's how it's meant to be. My favorite thing that people say is, "that's really toxic for you," when they have no idea how toxic they are for you. Yes, maybe what you're doing is really toxic, but them bringing it up and using negativity to get their point across is toxic. It hurts. It hurts because when you want something so bad, you'll do anything to get it, suffer through anything, cut people off, let people in. The last part is the hardest for me, because I never let people into my life. I trust no one at first, because trust is something that is so easily broken.
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Open Letter
No FicciónI want to start an open letters series for real people, about real problems. But I will need people to send in their problems so that I can have subjects for the letters.
