I Love You ||Kuroken||

Chapter 22

WARNING: This chapter may contain some sexual/ drug related/ sensitive topics/parts. If you feel offended in any kind of way then plz don't read. Read At Your Own Risk.

~Kuroo's POV~

*1 Week Later*

Its been a week since Kenma left and we have been talking frequently but it still hurts without him here. I cry every night hoping that he would make a surprise visit and drop out of Y University but, I would always take back that desire, knowing that this is what he wants and that I should support him.

I kept thinking this thought but I couldn't stop the tears of loneliness. I became so lonely that I began to stop eating and stop socializing with anybody except Kenma and stop eventually taking care of myself.

It has been about a month or two and I haven't been getting any replies from Kenma, nor seens. I would keep thinking that something happened to Kenma but then quickly removed that thought into a "He's just studying and will come back soon" kind of thought.

It became morning and I looked back at my phone....nothing. I sighed and tears began to spill until I noticed how thin and pale I was and went to the bathroom to take my daily dose of my antidepressants and choked them down.

I looked into the mirror, noticing the dark circles under my eyes and my cheek bones showing dangerously. I was beginning to finish up my examination until I heard three bangs at my door. I walked over to the door and of course, being the dumbass I was, I forgot to look through the peep hole and immediately opened the door.

It was Bokuto. Bokuto's happy smile turned into a frown like 0 to 100 real quick. "BRO, What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?", Bokuto asked repeatedly. I shrugged and waved him goodbye, I didn't want anyone near me, I wanted to be alone, not even wanting to be near my best Bro/friend, I just couldn't be in front of him looking like the piece of trash I am.

Bokuto's reflexes kicked in and his foot split between the door and the door frame. I looked at his foot and back to his face. "Look bro, I know you might not want to be with anyone or tell anyone about this 'situation' your going through from whatever it is but, you gotta take care of yourself man have you seen yourself? I don't want this and neither do you. Kuroo, come back", Bokuto finished.

I began frowning and I became teary-eyed. I then nodded and Bokuto asked to come in, maybe if I wanted to talk about it. Of course I shook my head, not wanting anyone to be near me at the moment. Bokuto understood and nodded but, in order for him to leave, I would have to promise to take care of myself.

I thought about it and decided to promise. It was one thing when I was the only one knowing what I was doing to myself but it was another thing when my best bud knew, I couldn't torture him through this because I'm selfish.

Bokuto agreed to give me some space and told me that he would come around once and a while to check up on me. I nodded slightly and watched Bokuto walk off. I noticed that while he was walking, Akaashi was waiting on the bottom of the apartment stairs.

I shrugged it off and continued off with my depressed lonely day. I started eating regularly and started working out regularly too, taking care of myself like I should've but I couldn't take care of myself mentally.

Sometimes I would cry for minutes or even hours, thinking that Kenma no longer loved me. It's been about 6 months with no activity from my boyfriend, Kenma.

I wanted to drive to Y University but I didn't know where it was and I couldn't find a bus to take me there. I felt hopeless. I felt so hopeless that I found myself a group. I didn't care about them or anybody and stopped hanging out with all my other friends.

I began having very little contact with Bokuto and the others. I lost contact with them so harshly that I no longer spent time at the apartment and barely went out in public. I stayed at an abandoned area with the group of friends.

The area was just outside of Tokyo. I started doing drugs, y'know the good stuff like heroin and pot. I even abused my pills, the antidepressants. I even began fucking other people. Male or female, it didn't matter to me at this point.

I was desperate and lost my will to live or even care enough to actually live. I thought that this would be the rest of my life until that very day changed it all.

Sorry that this chapter was shorter but the next chapter is the end + an epilogue. It's time now my children get ready.

~Ryosuke🌸