Renegade Revival

Chapter 23: Talk About It

Hayley's POV

I knocked on Taylor's door again, feeling a wave of déjà vu as I waited. Taylor eventually opened the door, revealing himself. He leaned against the door frame with a smile.

"I knew it was you, rebel," he said as he folded his arms. I chuckled and went inside.

"You need to get out more, stiff," I said as I sat down on his couch.

"Haven't heard about any parties, lately," he teased.

"Have you ever thought of us having a party?" I joked. Taylor shook his head and disappeared into the kitchen. I followed him and watched him pour two glasses of Jack.

"Remember those afternoons we shared?" I asked.

"Which ones?" he asked.

"What do you mean which one?"

"Well, there's the ones from middle school, high school, and now..."

"Which one do you think I mean, smart ass," I giggled. Taylor smiled that handsome smile of his as he handed me a glass. I took it and studied the familiar liquid, having no desire of it at all.

"What about them?" Taylor asked, referring to the afternoons I mentioned.

"I miss them," I admitted.

"Me too," he said after taking a sip of his drink. I still haven't drank the alcohol.

"I miss you," I said. Taylor studied me, confused for a moment.

"I'm right here, Hayles," he said.

"I mean, I miss the old you."

"People change," he said with a shrug, failing to give off that sympathetic vibe. I studied him as he took another swig of his Jack.

"But you've changed so much," I admitted. "I don't even know you anymore."

"Course you know me, Hayles," he said with a scoff. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous," I said. "Drop your mask, Taylor. You're not like this."

"Not like what?"

"A drinker, a smoker--"

"People. Change. Hayley," he spat. I put my cup down, taking in how much Taylor had become so different.

"Who are you?" I asked within a whisper. Taylor looked over at me, his hazel eyes not the same way I remember them.

"Hayley, stop being ridicu--"

"I am not being ridiculous," I snarled.

"I'm not going to fight with you about this," he said.

"Why did you do this?" I demanded. "Next thing you know, you'll be a reckless party animal, a cutter, and..."

It hit me. Taylor was slowly becoming a reflection of what I once was. Taylor had become the monster was before my coma. Tears misted my eyes as I looked up at him, my mouth slightly open in shock.

"You changed because of me... didn't you?" I managed to ask. My voice was quiet and calm. Taylor stared at me for a moment.

"Hayley, don't--"

"Oh, my God," I breathed, nausea rushing to me. I felt the room tilt as I got lightheaded. "It was because of me, wasn't it?"

"I don't want to bring this up," he said.

"Taylor, you changed because you thought I was dead!" I sat down at the dining table, unable to stand anymore.

"I don't want to talk about this subject," he said, his voice more stern as he turned away.

"Did you want to end your life after I tried to!" I demanded. Taylor didn't say anything. He didn't move. He only stared down at his cup, his back towards me. "Answer me."

"Shit, Hayley!" he yelled, tossing his empty glass in the sink. It broke into pieces; he didn't react to it. "Okay, yes! I wanted to die after you had left! I had nothing else to live for! But I forced myself to move on by getting Veronica! I can't change that, though! It was in the goddamn past! Hayley's gone now!"

"Taylor," I tried, sadness obvious in my voice. "I'm right here." Taylor turned to me and blew a sigh.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just..."

"I get it," I said. "I'll just... I'll just go." I got up and made my way to the door.

"Don't," Taylor said just as I reached for the door knob. I winced as I felt tears flooding my eyes.

"I think it's best if--"

"No, Hayley. Stay," he pleaded. "I want to talk to you."

"You haven't been showing it," I admitted, the words tasting as bitter as I said them.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I don't know, babe," he said with a sigh. He took my hand and led me to the couch. "Let me talk to you."

"Do you really want to work things out?" I quizzed.

"Yes," he said. He held my hand in both of his.

"You have to do a lot," I warned.

"I'm down with that," he said. "Name it and I'll do it."

"Leave Veronica."

"As soon as possible."

"Stop smoking."

"You've got it."

"Kiss me." I could feel Taylor's caramel eyes on me. I looked up at him, feeling my cheeks warm up. Taylor took me into a deep kiss that lasted forever. I felt my pain and anger melt away as he kissed me. His lips were the familiar taste of Jack Daniel's, leaving flashbacks of when we got drunk at parties.

After a while, I found myself lying on top of Taylor as we continued our make out. I felt him start to remove my shirt; I let him. With that, we slowly stripped each other bare and had each other. This was different than the other times we had slept together. Sure, each had meaning, but this one seemed to have more meaning than the rest of them. I wasn't sure if it was because we were sober or because we were drunk in love. All I knew was that it felt right. And it felt perfect. And it was just those two, together. Perfectly right. Rightly perfect.