"Small" Writings

I Miss You

A/N: I'm not really sure what to title this. When I wrote this little thing it was about 4 pages long.

This girl-
This lovely, beautiful, flirtatious girl. She helped me break out of my shell.
Her name?
Well that's not necessarily important. That's clear because even I don't know it.
She's not popular in her own way, but everyone seems to love her. Me? Well she's just a friend to me.
She's adventurous, but doesn't always dress for it.

She claims, "I like the difficulty of a dress."

While I just stand there in jeans, a hoodie, and tennis shoes, watching her climb a tree in the rain. Sounds like I love her but she's more like family. People claim that I caught the hardest catch. But I don't see it.

Throughout high school, I was shy, awkward, and went unnoticed by most. That was until I met her. By the time w became close friends, I knew it was too late to get her name.

"I'm-" was all I got before the bell signaling us to go to class rang.

After that, she greeted me with a new nickname practically every day. By the second day of our friendship people started to notice me. It's because of her, I gained the courage to talk to them.

By the time I got a job, I hadn't quite though about the possibility of working a job with her. Though that was a mistake on my part. -I'd see her quite often whenever I went out without hanging out with her.- I never took notice of her nametag, but I can't quite recall if she ever wore one.

Before college she had wanted to go on a trip before we went our seperate ways.

I remember quite vividly how excited she was when she said, "C'mon, just one more trip!"

She looked the most beautiful at that time since I had known her before that moment. She was wearing her favorite teal dress which made her blue eyes sparkle even more. Sometimes I could still feel the tickle of her caramel brown locks from when she'd try to get my attention when I had my moments of thought.

I hadn't expected to see her at the college I had gone to. Another mistake on my part. Sometimes she'd visit me at random. I thought the gesture as sweet, but I didnt know her reasoning at first. Things weren't going well for her. It was at night when she began crying and confessing about how difficult college has been, how badly people began treating her and how... How she missed out time together.

"Things are so hard without you best friend, y'know?" She mumbled between sniffles during a hug.

I was always thankful for her presence in my life, but I had never known how much of a part I had in her life since we became friends until then.
I have to admit that at the time I felt guilty, for I had a girlfriend.

After college we spent more time together. My girlfriend and I had been broken up for a while, but that's another story.
Since this girl I've never gotten the name of and I were transitioning out of the college life, we decided to get an apartment together, and she finally told me her name... Ellie. Because I was growing tired of being single, I had to constantly remind myself that she's just a friend. The biggest mistake I made.

"Me and my husband will have kids! At least two unless he wants more. We'll be well off too because we'll both have nice jobs," her words occasionally echo through my mind.

I hadn't known she was talking about me until later. If I had known sooner I would have given her that dream come true, because she's the friend I wanted to make happy. I felt I owed everything to her.

Now, I sit at her grave, wishing I could have made things right. Made things better.

"I'm sorry, Ellie... I could have made you happy."