Fuck....
Can i just say....
I was doing ok. I had no fears. No regrets. Happiness consumed my features.
Know look at me.... A disgusting, mess. A failure, a freak, a loser, someone who isn't worthy of a life.
Yea there are those glimpses of happiness. I have my girlfriend. My supportive friends. My allies.
It's the monster inside me. Corrupting my ever narrative. Move. Thought. Action. An alternate persona bullying me. Telling me what others thoughts may be. Creating illusions in my vision.
Only small times lile this am i free from my captors grip.
Fuck...
Honestly. I don't know. I feel it. Again and again a pattern repeats. Once I reach the top I'm dragged back down.
I don't understand what I've done wrong. What have I done to be constantly denied my gender identity. My name. My feelings and my thoughts. I don't know why I always fall into this repetitive pattern. Am I not strong enough? Will this time be the time I fail?
I... I don't know guys. I'm over complicating things. But, it won't stop.
-Daniel
