When It's Dark

Delusional

Do you think it is crazy that I believe in the previous lives?

That I believe I have met you before this life?

That we somehow connected from way before?

Because there is no rational excuses

For my subconscious so often shows me memories of you through my dreams?

While my conscious does not think about you as much.

Every time I dreamed about you it felt so real.

Even my heart telling me it was true.

Because I could remember every heartbeat that I felt

When I was with you in my dreams.

It was the same feeling when I met you in person,

Those glimpse of seconds,

My heart beaten faster than ever.

Even sometimes the dreams telling me that how hard it is for us to be together.

Maybe in one of those previous lives,

We were a tragic ending for soulmates.

I know it is impossible.

I know I'm being crazy.

But I feel like I knew you.

I feel we are on the same wavelength of darkness.

But I realise that it is all just fragments of my imaginations.

You...

are the representation of all things I could not have.

**

We've only met once yet i can remember every inch of your face.

We've only met once, but i remember how it felt when we touched.

 When you wrapped your hand around my shoulder and i wrapped mine to your waist.

Then you pressed your cheek against mine and you stroked my shoulder.

For sure, it was nothing special for you.

For sure, I was no one for you.

But at that glimpse moment,

those few seconds,

it felt like i'm home.

***

You are the man in my dreams. 

I dream of you, countless of time

I've never planned it, but you're there a lot.

You're dominating my subconscious and i don't know why.

How could my heart fell in love with the man of my delusion?

It's hard to resist the temptation to stay unreal. To stay dreaming.

You represent of all things i can't ever get.

And those things are the most beautiful things in the world.

Oh, I need you here, in my mind.

To feel the pain of never having you.

Because that pain... is the most addictive.

I can't get enough of you.

This self harm has never felt this good before.

You are so close, yet so far away.