Secrets of Mr.Styles

Chapter 35

"You can't just leave her!" I yell at my father.

"Oh yes I can watch me!" my dad presses the elevator button leaving my mum stranded.

She's still sound asleep upstairs. My heart breaks into a million pieces. I collapse to the floor sobbing.

Harry shakes me awake from my dream it's morning the sun is just peeking over the tops of the tall buildings beaming into the window. My cheeks are stained with tears.

"Maddison you woke Penny you were yelling and crying." Harry says.

"Harry he's left I know he has I can have this feeling." I say feeling the knot in my stomach grow tighter.

"Babe." Harry says.

"No! Harry I had a dream that he left her and I tried to stop him but couldn't. He's gone I know it." I stand quickly walking out the room and running up the stairs.

I stop at my mums room and knock pushing the door open. My heart sinks into my stomach. My mum is crying over a piece of paper.

"Mum?" I say lowly.

She looks at me her eyes watery with tears. Her fragile hands shake as I grab one of them taking it in one of my own I read the note.

Martha,

In the nightstand you will find some money for you and Elizabeth, it's enough to keep you going for a bit. I've been a coward hiding behind alcohol. I know you will never forgive me for this I've been with another woman for years. This is the last you will hear or see from me. Goodbye.

Walter.

My hand flies to my mouth as the tears pour from my eyes.

"Mummy I'm so sorry." I say softly.

"Did you know?" she says plainly.

"Mum." I say.

"Maddison did you know?" she repeats.

"Yes mum I did." I say.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't my secret to tell."

"You let it go for so long Maddison. I loved him." she says.

"Elizabeth knew too and I didn't want to be the one to tell you. Believe me I wanted to so many times but I couldn't." I say.

"Just leave me please?" she says.

I stand and look at her fiddling with what was once my dads wedding ring. I swallow and walk out the room shutting the door behind me. I rest my head against it briefly. Please don't let this break her. I think to myself.

I walk back down the stairs and out onto the balcony. Penny is fine she's with Harry I don't have to worry although her feeding time is soon. I rub my hands over my face leaning against the railing. It's cold as hell but I need air. My mum has loved him with all her heart even after the beatings she got from him, after he would come home drunk. She loved him without a doubt and he didn't love her. He did at one point but something just changed. So suddenly it was like the waves on the beach came crashing in drowning what was once our family. What is now a ruin of what it was once. The day at the beach when I was little serves as a memorial, it was the end. The inevitable end of that precious relationship I once had with my father. It was the last thing I remember being great between me and him. The last time I actually smiled and laughed with him, hugged him, loved him. I find myself crying thinking back at that day. The day I hold so close to me because it's the last good memory I have of him. It's like I'm stuck on a train track between the two walls in a subway, the train is coming fast and I can't stop it or escape it. It's the end, the inevitable end. The bedtime stories, the daddy I love you's, the playtime in the garden where we would run wild and he would chase after me pretending he was the monster, the train the inevitable end has hit that little girl and the woman standing right behind her. That's me now and then. I've been hit twice by the train. It broke me then and it's killed me now. I'm crying harder now my sobs muffled by my hand. I can't control it.