7 reasons to hate love

Reason 4

You can't stop it.
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There is no button, to turn love off or to control it.
The feeling exists, no matter if you like it or if you don't want to feel it.

And the worst thing is, that you can't control it and that you can't turn it off.

Some days ago, I talked to you. I don't know anymore, what it was about, but that doesn't matter. After our conversation, I went to my bestie, who stood somewhere in the room and who stared at me for a long time and grinned.

I went over and asked, why she was grinning. The only thing she said, was 'It started again, am I right?'

She realized it before I told her.

And if she could see it, you maybe feel or see it too.

Later she told me, that I was permanently starring in your direction and that I was acting and moving different, when I am around you.

I knew that, but I thought, that no one else would notice it. But I think, I was wrong.

If she could see it, you will notice it anywhen too, because I am talking way different and you just can't think, that I am like I've ever been. And other people could see it too, that wouldn't be nice.

I wish, I could turn my feelings off, in some moments.

For example, that one night, when we both sat on a wall, looked into the stars, listened to some music and the only thing I could think about was to kiss you. I wasn't able to look you in the eyes, because if I had been doing it, I would have kissed you.

Or these other moments, when we are standing close together and I can't think of anything but kissing you right now. That's super annoying, but I can't stop it.

You are even in my dreams, and I am not able to dream lucide, so I can't control this too.

Sometimes I am afraid because I can't stop it. What if I love you forever, if the feelings won't go away? We will never be together, I know that, so it would be a disaster.

The scariest thing on earth for me, is to loose control.
And about love, I sadly have no control.
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There is no button, to turn love off.
Not having control is scary.