nostalgia. || orig. poetry

||50 hues of blue||

let's set the stage...

there's a small velour box in front of you
ribbon packed tight as if it was straight out of a jewelry ad
but when opened, like pandora, my box held all your evil sins so you just packed up and moved in.

problematic was your middle name
contradictory the first
and you were mine
what's a virgin mary to lucifer?
rosebuds being plucked from the stems as your pistil shot straight toward my bloody garden
you changed me
now evil lives within

a scoliosis bearer
blue jean wearer
now turned into one of those
spineless bitches in backless dresses
all because i took a chance on you
you figured me out first
then slowly i figured out you
& if i knew your face was the devils disguise before we met
i would've never complimented your prada shoes

but best mistakes have the worst intentions
your ghastliness causing you to transform into a ghost in front of me
you grotesque entity
ya know they say if a mirror is broken you can glue it back together, but you'll still see the cracks
i am the mirror
now shattered & frail
for im able to trace every tiny crack back to its breaking point

if you thought this was a piece on being naked, you're absolutely right.
however, the nakedness in my hues of blue have no gray areas
just puddles of fresh teal tears tainting my skin with the dull taste of melancholy and isolation

from afar you can see a bright smile plastered across my lips before stepping closer
the faint laughter and bright smile you thought you witnessed only turning into despair and cries for help as i scream at the midnight blue sky

i remembered when i danced with the devil under that same pale moonlight
sweet nothings whispered into my ear made me forget about everything bitter
until you became everything bitter
intuition went out the window cause all i saw was potential
"maybe it's my fault" or
"he's not usually like this" became a phrase outsiders heard quite too often

call me a hopeless romantic, but I wish for a love that feels like poetry to my soul and wine to my bloodstream.
i want to be someone's favorite person.
& not just my body being why i'm favored

i want a love that feels like magic.
not johnson but a love that twinkles in my eyes & tingles down to my toes.
i want a love that displays no more unrequited behavior
a love that shows me what it means to be loved & in love at the same time

i want a love like no other.
a love with so much reciprocity even lauryn hill wouldn't know what to do with it
but these blues have turned me colder than nat king

i deserve to remove this storm cloud of sorrow
to brighten my days with a sunshine so invigorating it melts into my melanin.
i gotta save me cause
"ain't no sunshine when she's gone. ain't no sunshine when she's gone away"