How To Love Again. (Sequel to 5YIN)

-eight-

"What do you mean we aren't going on a honey moon anymore?" Liz nearly choked on her small sobs as we layed in bed. Cars and sirens from outside being the only other sound.

"I just don't feel like going away right now." I said coldly. Ali's harmed face piercing my thoughts.

"But we already booked it all!" She stood up and frantically waved her arms around. First fight of our marriage. Nice. I watched her pace back and forth. She tugged at her long blonde hair.

"Liz, babe. I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling great. We're stll married. Going off to another location on the globe to have more sex just doesn't make sense. We can do that here." I stifled my smile which ticked her off even more. 

"Harry! You know how much I was looking forward to this!" 

"Okay. We can reschedule it then!" I shouted back. She sat down and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. 

"No. We can't." Christ, Liz.

"What do you mean 'we can't'?" I scowled at her suddenly more annoyed.

"Just go. I need to think." She huffed.

"Fine. I'll go think too." I got up off the bed and bulled my sweat pants over my legs and reached for my hoodie that hung by the door. I stormed out slamming the door behind me. This was a fucking stupid arguement but I wasn't going to give in. I didn't want to leave the country right now. I had too much that I needed to fix. Things that Liz couldn't know about. Ali.

I walked through the dark parking garage until I found my car. I got into the driver's seat and slammed the door when I got in. The engine roared to life when I stuck the key in the ignition. I didn't think. I just drove and I was going to end up wherever I was supposed to. Liz's voice invaded my state of no thoughts. Then Ali's voice weaved it's way in. 

Don't forget me. Ali's voice echoed until my head ached uncontrollably.

I do. Liz's voice rung in my ears and the sparkle that her eyes held was sketched into my memory. I shouldn't be torn between two people. I made a promise to Liz. That I'd be here through it all. Through sickness and in health and shit like that. But I also promised Alison Elizabeth that it'd only ever be her. Someone was bound to get hurt here. 

I got out of my car and looked up at the tall hotel infront of me. I stayed here plenty of times when we toured. Touring. Sudden memories of standing in a circle with the guys in the dark backstage hearing the chants through out the arenas. We all prayed that we'd do alright. We always did. I remembered the feeling I got when I ran out onto the stage and cameras flashed people cried and I did what I loved. That's how I met her.

I didn't remember getting into an elevator.

I continued to think about everything my life used to be as the red numbers about the door increased.

1,2,3,4,5,6 

There was a small ring and the doors opened as I stepped out into the hallway that was dimly lit. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and stood infront of Liam's hotel room. Even though we weren't all together all the time anymore, we still came to eachother about things. The door was slightly cracked so I pushed and just walked in. Assuming it would be just them.. It was her. With them. With me. She gave me the same look she gave me the night I crashed. 

Hell we've been through it all.

"I should probably get going. I have class in the morning. I'll see you guys tomorrow." She faked a smile as she stood up and hugged them all. I nearly opened my arms for her. I guess it was just a force of habit because she stormed past me like I wasn't even there. What the fuck?

"What the fuck was that?" I blurted as the door slammed and she was gone.

"She hates you." Niall mumbled. Like he was afraid to tell me. She hated me?

"What do you mean she hates me?" I spat.

"Exactly what you think I mean." Niall smartly remarked. When did he become this much of a douche?

"Oh no. She does not hate me. I'm handling this fucking mess." I spun on my heel out of the room and back out into the hallway. People with luggage waited for the next elevator.

Christ I muttered under my breath as I headed for the stairs. Please don't leave. Was all I could think. I knew that we wouldn't be able to be together but I couldn't just not talk to her. This needed to be fixed. Maybe we could be friends? No fuck that. That wasn't possible. I ran out into the slightly cold weather and prepared myself to take off down the street when I saw a girl standing outside flagging down a yellow car to get her out of here. I ignored the burning in my chest after I realized she wanted to get away from me. 

"Al?" I barely said out loud as I tapped her on the shoulder. Her short hair waved around in the wind. Her hair. She chopped it all off. I loved her hair the way it was. 

No response.

"Al? Are you okay?" That was stupid ass question. I knew it set her off.

"Okay first off. Only people I'm close with can call me Al. I don't even know you that well at this point. Now if you'd excuse me, I'm trying to get a ride home and you're kind of distracting me." She snapped and I was almost taken back. I nearly forgot how sassy she was.

I struggled to find the right thing to say. 

"Okay. I know yesterday  was awkward. But can we please just talk?" That's what I came up with.

"AWKWARD? That's what you want to call it?!" She practically cackled in my face. Her expression screamed 'you're fucking pathetic' which I was.

"We haven't spoken in years, Harry. I haven't seen you since that night in the apartment. And now, here I am with my first job, and I walk into a church to see you getting fucking married! How do you think that made me feel? No. Let me answer that. It felt like I'd been killed. And right now, believe me. I'd rather be dead." The last part hurt. It hurt a fucking lot. I did what I was supposed to. I stayed away. It was what was best for her. All I ever wanted to do was protect her. I suddenly got angry. The only person that ever sparked this anger in me was her.

"What was I supposed to do? Just keep searching for you? I wasn't even supposed to go near you, Alison." 

"Okay. Yes I understand that. But usually when two people really love eachother, that kind of thing doesn't matter." The wind was knocked out of me as she spit these words in my face. She was wrong. So fucking wrong. I never did anything but love her. I put myself through hell for her. I knew it wasn't right. But I didn't care I was happy and I knew she was too. That's what made this work. Words came out before I could stop myself.

"Oh damn it, Ali. Don't you say I didn't love you. I fucking loved you more than anything else in this world. But things change and I'm sorry. But that's just how it is." Things didn't change. I loved Liz a lot. She was my wife. But Ali and I had a promise. But it had to be broken at this point.

"Okay. Yep, I get it. Congratulations.. Say hey to your wife for me." She got into a cab and that was that last I saw of her for the time being. 

I was speechless. She pissed me off more than anything. But I needed to see her again. I had to. 

I needed to make things right and she made that impossible. I was not finished with Alison Elizabeth Jones.