How To Love Again. (Sequel to 5YIN)

-thirteen-

                                                             *Harry*

I woke up with vivid memories of last night. I remembered Ali's touch, the way she reached for me. I looked to my side to see her laying there bare. 

"Fuck." I muttered as I pulled the sheets over her exposed skin. I stood up and put on my boxers before heading out to the living room. As I got closer I heard the sound of Liz's voice cracking as she cried. I also heard her best friend, Jess who I had only met once. They both grew up in New Jersey Liz being a few years older than her. 

"Liz we need to talk." Jess looked at me rolled her eyes and began pushing Liz out of the apartment before Liz stopped her.

"I'll be out in a second." She smiled weakly. When the door closed she turned to me with furious eyes. 

"Where is all of your stuff?" I qustioned as I looked around the half empty apartment. 

"In the truck outside." She crossed her arms over her chest. 

"You're moving out?" This couldn't be happening.

"Well I'm clearly not wanted here. She'll probably end up moving in anyway." She as in Alison.

"I can explain, Liz."

"I'd love to hear you ramble about how you didn't mean it and you're sorry. But I don't want to hear it at all, so."

"That's not what I was going to say to you," She looked confused.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for marrying you when I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I shouldn't have used you to feel something that only Ali could make me feel. You deserve better than that and I hope that the next guy you find gives you more than I ever could've given you." She took her ring off and put it on the table next us.

The door opened and Jess came in again.

"Lizzy let's go." With that, she walked out.

That was the last time I saw her. And oddly enough, I felt nothing.

                                                                    *Ali*

I woke up in a strange place. It wasn't the small dark room that was my dorm in the morning. It was a large white room. I was laying in a queen sized bed.

In Harry's apartment. Oh no. I stood up and pulled my dress on ready to run out of the apartment. I had to find Brandon. 

When I walked into the living room I walked right into the middle of what might of been Harry's divorce.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for marrying you when I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I shouldn't have used you to feel something that only Ali could make me feel. You deserve better than that and I hope that the next guy you find gives you more than I ever could've given you." I hung onto every word he said. And each one hit me harder than the last. I wasn't sure what to make of this situation. I told Brandon I loved him. And then I walked away and slept with Harry. Who I also confessed my love to. 

I was in the midst of fighting with myself when the door opened. Jess was standing in the door way. And she saw me. Believe me, she saw me. The corners of her mouth turned up in the slightest way. She knew Liz. She knew this would happen and she allowed it. She let me ruin everything for her own amusement. The door closed again and it was just me and Harry. He sighed and sat down at the table. Running his fingers through his hair. I said nothing as I headed for the door.

"Ali!" He called out as I slammed it behind me. I knew I'd be back. I just needed to find him. 

When I got back to campus, he was there at the fountain. Where we argued because of Harry once before. 

He saw me and stood up immediately. Carelessly tossing his cigarette into the water. 

"Brandon, wait."

"Fuck you, Alison." Ouch.

"Just fucking listen to me for once!" I yelled.

"Why would I want to? I go to that fucking ass hole's house because I knew it meant something to you! I didn't think that halfway through the night you'd be fucking him! With me in the other room! How could you do this to me?" For the first time ever I saw tears in his eyes.

"Brand-" I started.

"No. You don't even understand. This is what broke my parents up. I just never thought it'd happen to me. I can't even look at you." 

"I'm sorry! Okay! There's nothing else I can say." My throat felt tight and dry as he stared at me with hurt eyes. I could barely speak.

"Then I clearly never even meant that much to you, did I?" 

"That's not true!"

"I was the one person here that actually liked you and accepted you. But you're just a cold hearted bitch." He turned on his heel and walked away. I wanted to call his name out again. But there was no reason to he made up his mind.

I walked across campus to my dorm so I could at least change out of my dress. I wiped hot tears off of my face as I walked down the hall. When I opened the door the room was empty. Jess hadn't come back yet. My chest ached as I thought about who I thought was on my side. She was just messing with me the whole time.

 I pulled my dress over my head and replaced it with an N.Y.U long sleeved tee. I pulled jeans over my freezing legs. Relief flushed through my muscles as I sank into the comfort of my bed. I just needed to think. I wanted to break down. Scream. I wanted to feel something, anything. But I couldn't. Maybe Brandon was right. Maybe I was just a cold hearted bitch. Just like my mother. Maybe, I was going to be just like her some day. Or maybe I was already there.

When the door to my room opened I assumed it was Jess. I was ready to start an arguement. But it wasn't Jess. It was Harry. He looked at me with wild eyes. His chest moved up and down as he gasped for air. His nose red from the freezing January air.

"Harry, what are you doing?" I stood up.

"Well you just walked out on me. I wanted to see if you were okay. So I ran here." He wasted no time sitting next to me.

"Well of course I walked out! I watched your marriage end. And it was my fault!" 

"That wasn't your fault. We were going to end it eventually."

"Why?" I looked at him curious.

"Because of you." He shook his head and looked forward at the wall.

"You know Ali, I find it kind of ridiculous that we even tried to run from eachother. Because some how, we always end up in the same spot."

I thought about everything that had taken place without Harry. It was never positive. I was never happy without him. I did love Brandon. But not like I love Harry. Harry has been my reason for living and I don't want to see a world without him.

"I don't want to run anymore." I finally said after five minutes of silence.