Suddenly

Conflicting Thoughts

Grace was beyond over being cooped up in a tiny hospital room. She was bored. She missed Ayla, Josh was a constant at her bedside, playing the role of diligent husband. Hannah was there too, but the atmosphere was tense and uncomfortable. And, to top it off, her breasts were sore from the lack of breastfeeding. It made her sad that she had been essentially forced to wean her daughter. All the drugs they had pumped into her system could possibly be transmitted via her milk and she wasn't willing to risk it. From what Mamrie had told her, Ayla was suffering just as much without her comfort.

It was day three in the hospital, the day she had originally been scheduled to go home, but during the night she had spiked a temp of 101 and the doctors were once again concerned.

That had been the straw to break the camel's back.

"No!" She angrily told the sweet nurse who had been tasked with delivering the less than pleasant news. "I want to go home! I have a baby!" Fat tears had begun to form in the corners of her eyes at the thought of spending another moment away from her daughter.

The nurse tried to remain sympathetic, but she seemed tired and world weary. "I'm sorry, Miss Housely, the doctor is just concerned about the infection getting worse and potentially harming you, or the new baby." She tried to put stress of the words new baby, as if to remind Grace that she couldn't only be concerned with herself in this situation.

The tall blonde tried not to snap at the stupidly, overly sweet nurse. She understood she was just doing her job, but this was all too much! All she wanted to do was curl up with her daughter. Sure, she felt like shit,  but everything would be fine if only she could have Ayla in her arms.

It wasn't like she actually wanted to make a spectical of herself, but the emotions and hormones were raging and the feelings just all came bursting out of her at once. She erupted into a new round a tears at the frustration.

Hannah, ever by her side, put a gentle hand on her shoulder. It was incredibly comforting. "Gracie, you have to work on getting you and little one better. I promise that A is just fine with Mames. Those two are the best of buds."

The shorter blonde waited until Grace's loud sobs had softened into sniffles. Grace felt slightly embarrassed, but right now she couldn't be bothered to actually be concerned with it.

Another hand, one on her other shoulder made her stiffen. This hand did not hold the comforting qualities that Hannah's did. No, it felt heavy on her shoulder. It squeezed just slightly too hard and the sharp nails dug slightly into the soft skin beneath the thin hospital gown.

Josh, as always, put on a great show to seem supportive of his wife. Maybe the nurses fell for it, maybe they didn't. Grace was ever really sure. She had noticed the way they looked oddly at the separating couple on occasion. Thankfully none had ever commented.

She had wondered briefly if she would feel embarrassed or relieved if one of those women in the crisp hospital blue scrubs commented on her situation. Maybe if someone else actually saw what she felt every single day, maybe then it would be justified and she would not long have to wonder if she was just crazy. Maybe if they commented she would deny it out of pure embarrassment that someone would see her as a weak woman who let her husband push her around. They would think she was a bad role model for Ayla, and for this new kid. All the conflicting thoughts made her head spin.

"Gracie?" Hannah's soft voice brought her back to earth. She looked into the blue eyes directly in front of her and something in her chest quickened slightly.

Could everyone else see the way she looked at Hannah? How she felt about Hannah? How Hannah made even the bleakest moments better? She had not been fair to her in the slightest. Maybe she had played on her feelings? Maybe she was once again worried what someone else may think if they saw her with someone else so soon after leaving her husband, and a with a woman. They would call her a cheat, call her indecisive. Tell her it was just a rebound. Maybe it all was?

"Grace." Josh's fake cheerful, supportive voice brought her to attention.

Her eyes snapped to meet his. She stared into the deep brown irises that had once swept her off her feel. She came to the stark realization that she felt nothing.

Her brain really couldn't process what everything meant in that moment. She was still exhausted, sick and trapped in this stupid hospital room with both Hannah and Josh.

She looked up to the slightly concerned looking nurse.

"I'll stay." She told her firmly, she could see the nurse's shoulder sink slightly in relief. "But I want them out of my room."

Both Josh and Hannah erupted into protests. Since her first night here, neither of them had left her alone. She was starting to feel suffocated and overwhelmed by both their overbearing natures. Yes, them stemmed from two completely opposing points, but it all felt like one big competition between them and it was making her insane.

"Grace!" They yelled at the same time.

Thankfully, Nurse Whateverhernameis stepped forward.

"Listen, Grace is tired, she has a fever, she is pregnant, I'm sure she is still super sore. Give her a night of peace and quiet." She chided the both of them as if they were small children.

They still attempted to argue, but the kind nurse put her foot down.

"This is my patient's wish, and in her best interest. Please, go home. I'm sure the two of you could use a night in your own beds."

They both looked to Grace for approval. She tried to avoid the hurt look in Hannah's blue eyes. If she didn't, she knew she would cave.

"Please?"

A/n Sorry for the long delay! I have just not been feeling like writing lately! I hope this chapter did not suck!! Special thanks to @baurpower02! You are the reason this chapter is out right now!