The Life of A Hufflepuff (retired spam)

Dance, Dance!

So at the dance today my friends and I [grammar witches (and wizards of you're here)] were cracking jokes.

That's a pun.

Because we were talking about drugs.

Me: Italics
Kate: Bold
T: Underlined
Cringy af teachers: Regular my dude

"Uh, oh. It's 4:20 gotta light up."

"I don't want to dance."

"*dancing to that song that I thought was Jacob Satorius (or however the heck you spell his last name)*"

"Alright we're gonna take it slow now, find your partners."

"Ha. No ones dancing to your stupid song."

"IM GONNA GO REQUEST EYE OF THE TIGER."

"KATE YOU MUST DANCE!"

"You want some coke? I'm selling it for $3.50!"

"No one suspects the small, white chick to sell drugs."

"Or the Hufflepuffs."

"Huff Le puff. Do you not get it?"

"See the Ravenclaws aren't social and don't want to dance, meanwhile the Hufflepuffs are the social butterflies and are dancing."

"*plays random annoying noises along side the music*"

(My other friend) "I'm just gonna go drink some bleach, UNTIL YOU COME BACK HOME!"

"Yeah, the cool kids over there. They look like they're selling drugs. That one guy in all black, he's handing out crack."

"You got the stuff?"

"I got the stuff, you got the stuff?"

"*lets Kate sip coke*"

"This is why I love you."

"You must not leave us."

"Let's do a random conga line!"

"*backs away slowly*"

"If they come up to you and ask you to go out with them reply with "So y'all are playing truth or dare?""

"Hahahahaha, it's a joke for someone to ask me out! Look at me!"

"Yeah no one wants to go out with me because of the acne."

"Ahhhh, the acne! *does dramatic hand thingy*"

"Fuck this I'm out.*goes to buy coke*"

"*sippppppppppp*"

Same day, crap:

"All of our presidents were rich, white guys."

"Kate, no matter what you're going to that dance. *whispers in attempted German accent* I vill hurt chu if yu don't."

"See, everyone should've listened to Woodrow Wilson. He's smart. He knows that we were angering the Germans."

"God you're all idiots."

"Princess Diana and Helga Hufflepuff came from there!"

"Well Helga should've changed things."

"You've never seen the theory on how Voldemort is like Hitler?!"

"I'm creating Pennywise in the sims."

"Fuck all of you, I just want to read."

And that concludes "Dance, Dance!"

Thank you folks!

I'll be back with quotes from Satan!
Aka my friend Dev.

Bye now!

Xoxo,
Lizzy
🖤💛🦌🐺🇬🇧💛🖤