Forgotten Bonds

Eight - Vacant Gemstones

September 26th, 2008. Friday, 6:34 am. 

The alarm was blaring loudly; the irritating sound bouncing off the walls in a grating manner – the noise that awful reminder of unwanted wakefulness, yet nothing was done to stop it. 

Dick didn't care. 

The constant beeping rang and rang in his ears, swamping his mind with its noise; drowning out any and every conscious thought. The harsh sounds forever vibrated through the air. 

Dick didn't care. 

After another minute of enduring the relentless noise, he rolled over and stared at the clock; the alarm still roaring its annoying sounds. Dick slowly reached towards the digital clock and shut it off. Silence flooded the room instantly. Dick stared at the glaring bright, red letterings of the time; a peace blanketing the air with the new silence that seemed to assault his hearing just as loudly as the alarm had. 

Dick felt no peace. 

He rolled over onto his other side, curling his legs to his chest as he hugged his extra pillow close to his heart. He was tired. His body ached in dull pain from the confrontation with Slade last night. He wasn't going to get out of bed – ever again. No one could make him leave this bed. No matter what he did to him, Dick would stay. Maybe he should get some super glue and stick himself to the mattress. With a soft sigh, he stared at the clean white wall; his eyes glazed over. 

He wasn't wearing his mask any more. 

Robin was unmasked and the one who was lying in bed at that moment was Dick Grayson. He wasn't safe or protected any more. It was odd; the safety he felt beneath such a small article of clothing. Something so small, so insignificant, yet it was everything to Robin and Dick's existence. 

And now it was gone. 

The barrier of his world had been torn down. Dick was unsure how to continue from here. He was confused and afraid. Without Robin, Dick wasn't sure if he could continue any more. Robin had been his safety net; his security – the very thing that held his entire soul together. Robin blocked, protected the past from his mind. Dick had been hidden from the world for two whole years. He hadn't needed to face who he truly was; he hadn't needed to be reminded of his placement in the world – he only had to be a hero; he only had to be Robin, the Boy Wonder who was a leader and a protector. 

But now he felt vulnerable, exposed and naked, and overwhelmingly depressed. Dick wasn't that leader nor was he that protector. How could he, when he couldn't even protect himself from the very evil that Robin tried with all his heart to protect him from? And no matter how hard he tried to lift himself up from the bed, his body felt like dead weight – just like his heart and soul. 

What was holding him back? Getting up seemed like the heaviest of things. Was he just simply tired? Why did his body feel like the world was pressing down on him? Why couldn't he get up and move on? Wasn't Robin stronger than that? It was just a mask, wasn't it? 

But he wasn't Robin any more. He was Dick and that boy couldn't take this kind of treatment. Dick was fragile, timid; a gentle soul that could easily be crushed – and at that moment, his soul felt as if everything was hard. There was no other word to describe how everything just felt hard – difficult beyond anything. Nothing was simple; nothing was easy. 

There was a burning that began to assault Dick's eyes. He squeezed them shut; hoping to escape the heat that was threatening to bring forth the flood of tears from deep within his soul. 

Well, whatever this weight on his body and soul was, it wasn't something he could control. He couldn't get out of bed, even if he wanted to – Slade would just have to deal with it. Dick couldn't even bring himself to care any more. He didn't feel like moving. He didn't feel like eating. He didn't feel like doing anything.