if you must mourn, don't do it alone (Jactavia)

Part 2, Chapter 3

Two days late...better than a month, I suppose. I was going to try to upload this at work, since I've been working and writing most of my stories on google docs recently, to try to prevent loosing all my work, but apparently there needs to be something installed to copy and paste things from google docs to other places? Anyway, can't change work computers, so here we are, when I had free time!

--

Octavia was ansty as they all came down the stairs into the bunker, sighing in relief and streaming off to claim bunks. What was the point when they were all just going to be kicked out later, if no one fought for them? How could she deny the happiness of the children that were already playfighting in the center, the mothers that looked weary but pleased, and the elders that eased themselves to sit on the steps?

"Where should we go?" Jasper asked, face dripping with sweat from helping her carry this thing down. Now, it seemed like a great waste, unless there was something done. And that something was her. That was becoming clearer and clearer by the second.

"We find a place nice and alone from people," Octavia said. As much as she would feel guilty not at least trying for all these people, she didn't want to be around them. She passed by a bunker dorm and say the lines of beds and winced. Definitely not her style.

"Ugg, Mount Weather flashbacks." Jasper scowled, "I agree with you."

It didn't take long to find a closet-like thing that seemed mostly empty, sans a couple of cobwebs, and had just enough room to fit the mattress, the canoe, and walk around both of them. She stood in the doorframe in deep thought, and her eyes followed Jasper's movements. It wasn't until he'd nearly emptied the canoe that she realized what he was doing; setting up. Not just taking things out for the sake of taking things out, but organizing. He was folding their clothing in neat piles, he was laying out the blankets on the mattress, he was setting the family photo up on a pipe that made a good sized shelf.

"What?" He asked mid-chore, noticing her staring.

"I just..." She licked her lips, "You're setting stuff up..." She whispered.

"Should I not?" Jasper suddenly looked horrified, as though he'd overstepped some boundaries they hadn't established, "I just assumed-,"

"No!" Octavia grabbed his fingers, pulling them up close to her, "It's just that it...you seem...it means..." She was having trouble saying it without sounding stupid or like a musy pre-teen.

"It means something permanent," Jasper said, nodding slowly, "It means I plan to stick around."

And she realized he didn't just mean stick around with her, but meant it in the broader sense, that he was going to stick around and stay alive and actively try to, which overwhelmed Octavia in a way she hadn't thought she could feel until now, but she immediately understood it. She had to give him this, now that he wanted it. She would hate herself forever if she passively stood by and let it slip through their fingers.

She turned around and locked the door.

"I thought you'd want to go find your brother, you know," Jasper said, not yet realizing she'd locked them in, still sifting through things, now setting up the books on their 'shelf' in alphabetical order. There was something so adorable in that, a nugget about Jasper he couldn't possibly have told her, she had to just see this, to know that he was clean enough to want things organized, even to titles of books.

"He'll be down here, after it all." She said, "Right now, I just want to be here." She said empathetically. Jasper put down the current two books he was comparing in title to grin, understanding quickly her meaning.