Impulse {Jeff the Killer Love Story} (sorry, I'm no longing writing this)

What Have I done?

Jeff's pov

I was too close; too close. My mind went blank as my conscience urged me on the kill her.. But I stopped, once again I feel intense guilt whenever I inflict pain on her. The thoughts were reoccurring, fast and furious of what took place last evening. It excited me; seeing her bleed, just like all my other victims. Except hers gave me a different feeling. While I was watching her in agony, guilt caught in my throat; I wasn't feeling comfortable with or have ever felt before. I hated the feeling, but cutting into her skin and tasting her blood overpowered everything else. What makes her unique from all the others I've could have so easily slaughtered is she didn't show the same type of fear that was present in countless pupils. She was the first to look into my eyes and hold my gaze without backing down. Her eyes held hate, but at the same time it was softer and more serene.

Whenever I inflicted pain on her it felt like a needle through my heart, a stinging, burning feeling, but I liked it. I convinced myself I'm a sin to her. Apart of me thought she wasn't going to make it. Melody never screamed. It gave me the impression as if she knew struggling would be useless and saved her last breath until the end.

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I'm a killer. Killer's don't fall in love. They can't, they aren't supposed. We can't develop feelings; especially for our victims. I've never had feelings for anyone. I just kill; kill without mercy, and it feels good.

"I'm a killer, I can't love."

I say to myself, cursing under my breath.

I made my way through the woods to Melody's backyard that led to her house. I stared up at the old, rusty house to her dwelling, empty pot plants, dints and scrapes, patches of dried grass and numerous flaws. You could visibly see the house hasn't been cared for in centuries. I walked around and crawled up through her window, it was still open. I see her frame lying on her bed, completely still. I hear a loud groan as she turned over on her side, my eyes widen as I watch her stand.. She's still asleep.

I was here to change her bandage and gauzes, some dried blood visible through them. Melody starting talking to someone, as shocking as it was I stood there watching, intrigued. I followed her as she limped downstairs, completely unaware of my following, she stumbled into the kitchen and repeated "okay..okay..okay."

She felt around the tables hesitantly, bumping into objects with her hands, she grabs a drawer pulling it open, revealing the utensils, she rummages through the drawer, hearing 'clinging' noises. She grabs a decent sized kitchen knife. Gripping it for a second, she repeats "okay.. But why?" Again, I watch her in awe, "What is she up to?" I smirked, whispering under my breath and continued to follow her, my hoodie up and my hands in my pockets.

Melody's mother was out for the weekend, I overheard the conversation they were having a few days ago..

I watched Melody as she opens the backyard door and slips through, as she does so she lifts an animal cage door, a Ferret was noticeable inside. She picked it up with her left hand, the knife in her right. She slits the Ferrets throat, it squeals and fights, trying to break free from her grip but she squeezes tightly, hearing bones break, suddenly a "click" noise. She drops the Ferret out of her hands, including the knife impaled inside the Ferrets throat. Melody stumbles to her door and makes her way steadily to her room.

I'm dazed, yet pleasured by the sight. I kick the Ferrets lifeless body into a corner, smirking with bloodlust. The blood on her hands was arousing to watch, dripping from her delicate fingers. This wasn't like her.. She was sleepwalking. "Wow." She surprises me everyday, but this was unpredictable. And I loved it. I wanted to see more, I'm not satisfied yet.

I'm just selfish like that, I can't help it.

I hear a bloodcurdling scream, I fled up stairs to see Melody on the floor, trembling, staring at her blood covered hands.

"You did this.."

"You DID THIS!" She screamed at me and I shake my head.

"N-no Melody.. You did."

I was slightly nervous to what her reaction might be, her jaw dropped and she stared at the floor sobbing. Speechless.

"B-but I-...What did I do?" She said in a upset, sniffling, raspy tone. Her hands trembling, I grab them to try to comfort her. I caught a whiff the sticky substance, I was careful not to inhale too much or I'd lose control. Her pain in her eyes felt good.

I coax her to follow me downstairs, I have my arm around her shoulder to help her keep composure. I show her what she's done.

Melody covers her mouth and cries. "N-no.. Scribbles!." She held her Ferret in her arms, pulling the knife from it's throat, it's cold limp body hang in her arms.

　

Melody mumbles.

"What have I done?.."