Not Anymore [Creek] °COMPLETED°

Chapter 2 {I broke}

Tweek's P.O.V.

Okay. First day as "friends".
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can't do this.
I can do this.
Urgh.

Actually, I remember the time, I got a panic attack and nearly lost consciousness.
He hugged me, patted me, told me everything would be alright.
You're such a liar, Craig.
Nothing's alright.

"Are you even listening to me?", Clyde said while rolling his eyes.
"S-Sorry.."
I felt kinda empty, but I didn't wanted to tell Clyde. Clyde was a great friend, but he's the one, that would tell everyone about this and I can't risk it.
Clyde continued blabbering and drifted off to my thoughts again, risking him yelling at me again.

"I feel so fucking horrible.."
I immediately went to the bathroom and ran into one of the stalls.
With the urge of vomiting, I controlled myself and ended up with never-ending headache.
I closed the door of the stall and sat on the toilet.
What was wrong with me?
I felt so damn empty.
I curled myself into a ball and tears began to well in my eyes.
After the death of my mother, there was no one in my life anymore. My dad always left for work and I had no friends.
Of course, Token and Clyde were my friends, but we always parted ways after school. There was no one supporting me in my worst times.

Then Craig came.
He gave me safety, protection and love.
I felt loved.
Someone actually cared for me.
He was my most precious treasure.
But..
I wasn't his.
He was faking everything.
Right now, he didn't give any fucks about me.
At the thought of this, I began to sob terribly and it wouldn't stop.

"Tweek? Is that you?"
That voice was so familiar, I nearly threw up.
Of course, I didn't answer.
I didn't wanted him to see me in this state.
He would just hate me even more.
"Tweek, answer."
Craig spoke in his usual monotone voice, even though I wished, there would be concern in his voice.

Then I saw something crawl under the stall door and I nearly died, this was super scary!
"Jesus - GAH - c-christ, a m-m-murderer!"
Craig stood up and was now in front of me.
His ocean-blue eyes stabbed right into my heart, making me avoid them even more.
"Why didn't you answer me, spaz?"

Spaz.

He hated me, didn't he?
I didn't answer again.
He sighed.
I disappointed him again.
Now, he was lowering himself to my level.
"Tweek, what's wrong? Aren't you happy?"
I gave him my best fake smile I could.
"I am", I smiled, "don't worry about me."

He grabbed my shoulders.
I was so shocked, I twitched a little.
He stared deep into my green, rotten eyes.
He began with:"Why were you sobbing? Why are you lying to me? I feel like such a stranger to you."
I messed up.
He is mad at me.
Tears again.
Why am I such a crybaby?
I somehow managed to get words out of my mouth.
"I.. *hick* I f-feel.. So d-damn.. *hick* lonely.."
Craig now hugged me and softly whispered in my ear:"Tweek.. Is it because we broke up? It's the same as before though.. We weren't actually together anyway, so what's the big deal?"
Yeah.

What's the big deal?
We weren't together anyway.
What's wrong with me?
Why am I making such a fuss about this fake relationship?
Because I love him?
Haha.
No one cares about my feelings.

These feelings overwhelmed me.
I didn't have control anymore.
I blurted something out, I didn't wanted to.

"I hate you, Craig Tucker! You ruined my damn life with coming into it! I was fine being alone! I didn't need anyone! Why would you be with me, if you were planning to go anyway? Is it fun, watching me break?!"

I shoved him aside and ran out of the bathroom.
I just took everything out on him.
I blamed him for things, he didn't do.
I told him, my depression was his fault.
I'm so damn selfish.

Well, it's better this way.
I'll leave soon.
He won't miss me.
Nobody will.
Good.
That's good.
Soon, it's a goodbye.
I'm sorry, Craig. I was a selfish and stupid boy running into your life and crashing your whole life. I don't deserve you.
I wasted your time.
I'm actually..
Really worthless.

Craig.
Sorry.
I love you.