The Marshall Boy

Thirty-six

Thirty-six.
Jessica.
A Year Earlier. 

The past two weeks have been amazing. Blake asked me to move back in with him, and we're officially back together. He's been working more from home, sending Nate out on any business trips. We've been spending our time looking at things for the nursery, clothes for the baby. It's been amazing. Marlee's been helping with paintings for the nursery, it keeps her busy while Nate's away. This baby had originally broken everything apart: but ended up piecing it all back together. I rub my small baby bump, smiling down at it; for the first time, I'm excited to be a Mom. I've always wanted to be a Mom, but I couldn't be excited about it because of how awful a life I would have bee giving it, but now, it'll have a beautiful life, surrounded by love and adoration. I'm day dreaming about my baby's future life; its birth, its first steps, its first word (Momma), its first day of school, its kindergarten graduation, its first bike- I'm still lost in my daydream when Blake comes home from the grocery store.

"Hey," I call from the kitchen, still smiling as I fix him a glass of water. When I turn around, I stop short when I see the anger on his face. Blake is never angry; he's always calm and collected. "Blake?"

"Did you cheat on me?" His gaze is level on mine, and I feel as if my brain just turned off. I can't come up with an easy lie.

"What-" I start but his hand flies up, telling me to stop so I do.

"It's a simple question, Jessica." His jaw is clenched. He knows. How does he know? I swallow as I nod, the world's been set on fire again, and the fumes are overpowering me; I can't breathe.

"That baby's not mine." He states, and I nod again as tears flood my eyes.

"I-" I start, but he stalks away. He laughs and my head jerks up as he places his hands on his hips and looks up to the white ceiling.

"I can't believe I fell for it." He says more to himself, but it still feels like he's stomped on my heart, then punched me in the gut. I put my hands on my stomach, and blink back my tears. My mind is in overdrive; how do I fix this? I wrack my brain, but it has nothing to give me.

"Blake-" I choke on my tears, and he turns.

"Were you going to lie to me for the rest of our lives? Were you going to allow me to live a lie?" He seems so shocked by who I am, as if he's seeing me clearly for the first time.

"Blake-" I'm crying now, I walk around the counter, toward him, but he takes a step back, shaking his head. Pain is written on his face, and he looks away.

"No." Is all he says as he stalks around me.

"Wait," I gasp out, holding my stomach. "Where are you going?" My voice cracks, as I watch him grab his jacket.

"I'm giving you two hours to pack everything and get out, Jessica. I can't be with someone who could blatantly lie to my face." There's pain on his face, and in his voice. I choke on the lump in my throat. "I can't." His voice breaks too, then he's out the door, slamming it behind him.

I fall to the ground, as a sob wracks my body. I had it all. For two amazing weeks everything was perfect; I had a perfect boyfriend, my best friend, and what I'd always wanted. I had all of that, and I ruined it like I always ruin everything.

My world burns to the ground all around me, and all I know to do is curl into a ball on the floor and sob. It's the only option I have left.