The Marshall Boy

Thirty-nine.

Thirty-nine.
Lucy.

I don't know why I was expecting the house to look different, but it doesn't. Everything is the same as I remembered- everything except for how I feel when I park my car and step out onto the rocky driveway. My heart aches as it always does when I think about that night a week ago, and I have to force myself to walk toward the door. The cold wind nips at my cheeks as the sun starts to set and I knock on the pale white door. I count to five seconds, and then the door is opening and Mimi is smiling at me.

"Lucy Belle," She breathes, as tears shine in her eyes.

"Hi," I breathe back, at a loss for words as I see her tears.

"Your Momma's upstairs," She tells me, as she runs her fingers through the ends of my hair.

"Okay," I say, as I move inside and head toward the steps. Mimi watches as I start my way upstairs, and she shoots me a smile just before I lose sight of her. My bedroom door is open, and I walk cautiously, fully aware that my Mom is still probably furious with me. I suck in a deep breath, then step toward the threshold; I stop short when I see that Mom is sitting on my bed, running her hand over my NYU sweatshirt.

"Mom?" Her gaze lands on me instantly, and she smiles a genuinely happy smile.

"You came." She states in a breathy tone, as she stands up and smooths out the gray sweater she's wearing. I only nod, as I twirl the ring on my finger; it's a cheap gold one I got at a thrift store, but I always wear it so I can fiddle with it if I'm in an awkward situation.

"How have you been?" She asks, as her eyes trail over me nervously; assessing me for damage. I don't know how to tell her all of my damage is on the inside.

"Fine." I say softly, still twirling the ring despite my finger starting to ache.

"Good," She breathes, as she sends me a small smile. "And Blake?" I'm so surprised by her words my mouth falls open, but I quickly recover with a nod and a fine. She nods, looks to a picture of me and Bobby on my wall, then back to me.

"I'm sorry."

My head whips back to her, and I suddenly can't find the words to speak because I'm stunned; my Mom isn't the type of person who likes to admit she's wrong, let alone own up to it.

"I just," She pauses and turns from me halfway, but I still see the pain cross her face, and the way she places a hand over her mouth. "I was in so much pain." Her voice is broken, and I suddenly don't see her as my strong Mom anymore, I see her as a broken woman who's lost a man she cared deeply for.

"I'm sorry," She turns back to me, now the one wearing a surprised expression. "About David. I know how deeply you cared for him."

"I loved him." She tells me, and I feel as if all the air has left my lungs. "We were together in high school." She sits down on my bed, and I sit beside of her, staring ahead at my white closet door as I absorb this information. "We started dating when we were freshman, but we'd been close friends since we were kids." She smiles softly, as she wipes the cascading tears falling down her tanned cheeks.

"Mom, I didn't know." I state numbly, still reeling from this revelation.

"Not many people did. We dated until senior year," she pauses to look at me, "he was a year older so he left for Bible college when I started my final year of high school." She explains, and I nod though I'm still so shocked it's hard to listen. "He didn't feel as if it was God's will for him to marry, so we broke up. I was devastated, for weeks I couldn't eat because I would puke it all back up." My heart aches for teen Mom; even I didn't have that hard of a time when Trevor cheated on me, but I know it would be difficult if Blake were to, just the thought makes me want to vomit and we've only been together for a few weeks.