Batjokes One-Shots

Small World

BTW Joker and Tim are BFF's

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Gotham had been struck by a mini-apocalypse. It hit like a bomb. It pretty much was a bomb. Scarecrow's latest batch of toxin was a work in progress and accidentally blew up part of Ace Chemical. Anyone within its blast radius. It altered there mental state, anyone it hit was turned into mindless zombies. They craved human flesh, their sense of smell was heightened, and their pain sensors became unresponsive. The CDC cut off the bridge access between Gotham and the rest of the state. Everyone on the island was trapped. Batman making an appearance during the day trying to help the PD track down every infected person in the city. On patrol, Bruce heard a terrified scream then a pained groan in an alley and jumped off the roof and into the alley. A familiar voice called out quietly, "Brucie Bear!"

"J?" Batman responded. He heard some shuffling then the same voice, "By the dumpster."

Batman jogged over noticing a body then a trail of blood. He followed it to the Joker clutching one leg close to himself. Bruce knelt down to his level and the man lit up, "Boy, aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

"How long have you been here?" Bruce inquired. Joker looked at the Bats watch, "About 2 hours."

"Why!?" Bruce looked worried. Joker lets go of his leg and it was immediately obvious why he hadn't move and there was a body near him. There was a fist size chunk missing from his calf and a huge gash in his shin. Bruce was searching his belt in a matter of seconds. He whipped out a small bottle of peroxide, a scissor, and a roll of gauze. Joker hissed as the remaining bits of his pants are removed from his lower leg. Batman poured peroxide over as much of the cuts as he could then wrapped it tightly in gauze. Joker pulled himself to his feet, "Lead the way Bats!"

"Either way. I don't have the car," Bruce replied. Joker when to take a step and crumpled as soon as his weight shifted to his gnawed leg. Bruce grabbed him and put the green-eyed man's arms around his neck and wrapped his legs around his waist. Joker grinned, "On word loyal stead."

Bruce dialed Alfred and warned him they were on the way. Joker talked Bruce's ear off the whole way to the manor with random stories and some of the wildness of the past week. Joker gleamed as they walked under the waterfall into the cave. Joker hopped off Bruce's back and onto the table. Bruce peeled off his suit and gathered up the needed supplies before sewing tendons and muscle up. Joker growled as Alfred wrapped up the leg and handed him a set of crutches. Bruce burst with laughter as the skinnier man clumsily worked his way over to where Bruce had spread out across the couch. Joker dropped on top of his with a pleased hmph. Joker turned to Bruce, "Where's the baby birds?"

"Tim is around here somewhere, Jason is over on the east coast, and Dick is back in Blüdhaven," Bruce rattled off. Joker sat up an cupped his hands around his mouth, "Baby bird!"

"Jokes!?" Tim came bounding down the stairs. Bruce prepared for them to crush him as Tim barreled at the pair. Joker grinned as the Boy Wonder squeezed him tightly, "How's it going shorty?"

"It's pretty crazy Jokes! There are real zombies outside!" Tim squeaked out a mix between nervous and excited. Joker pointed out his leg, "I know! One got me."

"O. M. G. Did you kill 'em?" Tim gasped. Joker nodded, "Dang right I did!"

The two exchanged high fives. Bruce rolled his eyes, "Movie night?"

"Yes!" The pair shouted. Bruce waved the two off to the side so he could pull open the fold out. Then pulled down the screen and turned on the projector, the pair hopped on and got snuggled in with space for Bruce to squish in between them. They watched Pocahontas and sang as loud as they could.

Bruce was awoken by the news: This just in: All infected persons have been captured! The bridges are now open!

Bruce let out a relieved sigh. It was over they survived the mini-apocalypse.