Caught in a lie ~ Jimin ♦︎COMPLETED♦︎

Chapter ~ 27

After that night I was even more affraid than before

I didn't dare to sleep I was afraid of the nightmares that I had I was scared if one of them would turn out to not just be a dream but reality

I would keep myself awake til I would pass out

it was like I wasn't a human anymore but a living machine that would do the same everyday without any change

why couldn't this just never had happen if Jimin had never been born as the son of Black wings leader and I had never been born as my father's daughter we would both had just lived a normal life right now

but would we even had met then would our story had change too would our names even be the same or had we even existed

I don't know and will never know because that wasn't how I was born

I can only imagining how my life would have been if I was born into a different family but in the end I didn't want that I love my life even now in this situation

I took my phone from the table besides me I looked trough some pictures of the past few weeks I stopped when I found some pictures of me and Jimin and the others it was a picture from our Picnic in the beautiful park we had been

we all looked so happy it made a smile appear on my face while thinking back at that day

it was a day I will never forget and I know if Jimin doesn't make it I know he would still want me to continue living my life like before

but I will always remember these memories we had together

I felt something wet on my cheeks I was crying looking at the foto and thinking back on our memories.... it hurts

it hurts so much being close to loose someone you love

I looked up from my phone and over at Jimin I put my phone in my pocket and walked over towards him he where still just laying quiet and peacefully on the bed

I took a chair and placed it closer to the hospital bed so I could sit down next to him  

I just looked at his peaceful being he looked so innocent

sometimes you would wondering if he was even alive but his heartmonitor makes you then realize that he actually is 

I took his hand and placed it in mine

his hand where just as warm as always his hand gives me a relaxing feeling  it's like I can relax without being scared

even without him being able to talk to me or comfort me he still manage to make me feel safe

I felt tears streaming down my cheeks again

I hate crying I hate being sad I don't want people to see me like this but yet I am still crying so much lately I think it's a good thing to cry but I still hate it so much

but I can't help but being affraid of loosing him loosing the warmth in his hands

I always hear or see people in movies or in the news how hard it is to be in this situation and finally now I know just how horrible and hard it is trying to be positive that he will wake up again

it seems like the longer it takes the harder it is to keep on being positive and keep my head high

I placed my head on the bed still holding onto jimin's hand I do not want to ever let go of his hand

i felt my eyelids slowly closing after being open for so long since I haven't slept for a long time

I gave up trying to stay awake from my nightmares tonight I just couldn't stay awake anymore