It started 18 years ago on a sunny September day. The day that changed his life forever. A day like no other. He arrived early to the job site to have a look around. This being his first time on a construction site. He was excited! All of the equipment and the noise and the tools. O the tools. He never imagined he would get to use so many different kinds of tools. This was the best day ever!
His new boss started yelling at him ten minutes into his first day because he didn't have a hard hat! So his boss decided to teach him a lesson. He made him wear a pink hard hat all day! So all day he was whistled at and called names and none the the other electricians would let him take a break with them. All he wanted to do was go and get into his truck and go home! But instead of letting them get the best of him he fought back! When one of the guys went into the porta john he wrapped it with duct tape so the guy couldn't get out! Well this didn't work because his boss saw him and made him pay for the wasted duct tape!
The day was finally over and he could go home and tell his girlfriend all about his first day! And wouldn't you know it she didn't care at all about his day. All she could say was you better make good money I have a shopping habit you need to take care of. This was about all he could take and it got worse when she started laughing at him for having to wear the pink hard hat.
One year and two months with this woman and he finally has had enough. All she does is nag him. Make more money, lose weight, take out the trash, you don't help me around the apartment. Nag, nag, nag is all he ever heard from her! So with the remaining duct tape he waited for her to fall asleep in her favorite chair. Then he duct tapped her to the chair and lucky for him her favorite chair was on wheels. So he wheeled her down and put her in his truck. It just so happened that he was taught how to run the cement mixer at work today. The hole was already dug for the footers for the building so he fired up the machine and well he no longer has to listen to her nag.
The next morning was very quiet and peaceful around the apartment. He threw his dirty clothes on the floor and didn't make the bed! He drank the milk right out of the carton. He didn't even have to put the toilet lid down when he was done. He was very happy. So he got dressed and went to work.
So he strolled into the job site with his new white hard hat on and started installing electrical boxes. When he over heard the foreman asking about the footers that had been poured. The foreman said who ever poured that concrete did an amazing job. So now he was really feeling good about himself. Nobody picking on him no one to nag him and the foreman likes his work. Things are finally going his way.
So he's driving home and sees a midget trying to reach his mail box. So he gets out and gives the little guy a boost. Now this makes the midget really mad and he kicks him in the shins. He can't believe it, all he did was help the little feller out. So he used the remaining duct tape on the midget. Back to the job site and get the concrete mixer fired up.
Now he's hungry and is ready for bed. He arrives home and orders a pizza. When the pizza arrives he takes it back in his bed room and sits down on the bed with his cold beer and eats the whole pizza. Now this was a good day. The only thing that could make it better would be some home made chocolate chip cookies.
It's the weekend and he has big plans. There is a knock at the door. He wasn't expecting anybody. It was her mom and dad. They hadn't seen or heard from her for a few days. He quickly told them she was shopping. They pushed their way in and well he had to break out a new roll of duct tape to use on the two of them.
