Finding Hope.

Chapter 5

Chapter Five. The Revelation

I woke up facing Siwon. He was sitting on the bed, gazing at my face and stroking my hair. He took his hand away quickly and got up. I couldn't help but smile as I sat up. He silently looked away, and then back at me, seeming to be lost in thought.

"Those bruises..." He started to say softly. I bit my lip and pulled up the blanket around my shoulders.

"Do you want to know why I ran away?" I asked him quietly. I sat at the edge of the bed and squinted at the sunlight streaming through the curtains. I couldn't believe I even mentioned it. 

"It's up to you." He said seriously. I felt tears coming to my eyes even from just thinking back. I took a deep breath.

"You got any tissues around here? I might start crying." I joked, even though it would probably end up being true. I patted the bed and Siwon sat down next to me. 

"My mother got into a major car accident when I was twelve. I was still an innocent little girl back then. Instead of helping me through it, my father turned to alcohol to try and solve his problems. That's when he started to beat me." I felt tears coming to my eyes again. I sniffled and continued my story. 

"My mother slowly died. After that my father took me out of school. He is an alcoholic. He came home after work completly drunk, he would corner me and force himself on me and hit me. I'm suprised that a police officer can get away with things like that." I said quietly between tears, remembering all the horrible memories. I looked up and saw anger wash over Siwon's face.

"Who would ever do that to you?" He whispered angrily, instinctively taking my hand and squeezing it to comfort me.

"This continued for a long time, and I did nothing. I was in my room all day. You think I would tell someone when it all started, but I was so stupid." I said, letting go of his hand and holding my head in my hands.

"My father is in the police force. I figured, who would believe a little girl like me? I was too scared." I said, looking up.

"I am so scared." I told him. Siwon wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest, sobbing.

"I am so hurt. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me, and what caused my father to do this to me. I even thought of suicide many times, but there was a reason for me to stop every time." I told him, looking up at him. He looked at me and wiped the tears that were streaming down my face.

"I am so glad you didn't kill yourself. Then I would have never met you." He said softly. My stomach fluttered, and I suddenly felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest.

"I feel so much better now," I admitted, "You are the first person I have told." I sniffled, wiping the remaining tears in my eyes.

"You have been through a lot Christina." Siwon said, "I'll be praying for you." I didn't know how I was supposed to react to that. I pulled away from him.

"God didn't help me." I said coldy, feeling odd all of the sudden. It felt like something was possesing me all of the sudden.

"Where was he when all of this happened to me?" I asked, anger flaming inside of me. Siwon stayed calm and took my hand.

"Did you ever ask for Him to help?" He said these simple words. I had to think. I recalled crying in my room asking for someone to help me, but it hit me that not once I had prayed. Nevertheless, my heart hardened and I turned away from Siwon, letting my pride getting the best of me.

"Doesn't he know everything?" I muttered, glancing at Siwon.

"Have you ever been to church? God know's everything, but if you need help you just ask Him." He told me kindly. I was suprised he wasnt upset that I got so angry all of the sudden.