Of Course

Ch. 4- Ranting About Friendship (and other stuff)

We walked back to the shore while laughing and rolling our eyes at each other. She splashed me a few times and I threatened to bring her under so she stopped immediately.

I forgot my towel in my bag, how great. Before I could get it she ran up the rocks and threw it down. It almost went in the water but my madskills saved it, and me. We did a quick pat-down and sat on one of the rocks. Pleasant time we were having in near-awkward silence when noise finally entered the moment. 

"Can I ask you something?" I don't know why, but I was extremely nervous.

"Of course," she made me nervous. 

"How long do you think this will actually last?" Nervous and curious me was coming out and I don't like it. I always ruin things. 

 "What would you say this is?"  

"I don't know, actually." Is it a relationship? Friendship? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Friends with benefits? I'm worried. 

"What do you value most?" 

"Tea, informational and philosophical text. Trees too." 

"I meant with humans. Like, relationship stuff. Mother to offspring, owner to dog...."

"Very similar analogies." 

"Shut up. Just answer the question."

"Truthfully, I believe in friendship the most. You choose your friends, you can't choose your mother or father or where you come from. You're just an egg and single sperm cell," where am I going with this? "You may get to choose a sibling but only in specific cases. People expect you to love your family no matter what, you have no say whatsoever. If you say that you hate your family, your parents especially, then you are considered disrespectful and 'angsty'. You should respect your parents, you should respect everybody, really."

I took a short break to catch a little breath because talking takes out energy I don't have.

"I don't really like boyfriends and girlfriends much. Friends pick you, you have a choice in whether or not you choose them too. Friendship may not last forever, with most people it doesn't. That doesn't mean you should try and work through things and get as close to another as you can until you know every single thought they think every single second. Best friends are closer than any person in your life. Closer than sisters, brothers, cousins, and that really says something. You and your best friend should be able to change in front of each other and walk around in your underwear and be comfortable.  Sure, you can do that in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend, you should really. Is it supposed to feel more special? Maybe it does for some people, but not to me really. Then there's time. Time is the thing that controls everything. Distance controls relationships, and that is a big part. But time controls literally EVERYTHING."

I am straight up ranting and it is relaxing. 

"Some friendships are short lived and if they are, what's the point of trying to make it work? It hasn't worked so far so why try? Same with boyfriends and girlfriends. Especially at a young age. Like, what? The probability of you getting married is 1 in about 2,724 at most. It won't last as long as your best friend. Relationships that do last forever are just like friendships but with titles. Marriage is just legal shit and dumb paperwork with one person taking the last name of the other. I don't believe much in the existence of love, it is shit. And one of the worst things a person can go through. That's all I have to say about that." 

"All you said was pretty damn accurate and sounds fantastic." She looked understanding and surprised. 

"Really? Oh." 

"Let's go get some food, bestie. I'm starving."