Without Memories

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Challenging

I was in awe when I saw how the sky changed the colors on its own, simultaneous with the time that's passing by. From the different hues of blue and white to a mixture of sunset twilight colors―orange, violet and pink, no matter what shade of color was painted on the sky, it was still astonishingly beautiful.

Napakagaling Niya talaga bilang pintor. Kung paano Niya naisip ang bawat kulay ng Kanyang mga likha ay talagang nakakamangha.

The dangling musically set of little bells chimed when the wind blew from the horizon. I can smell the salty water of the sea because of the wind that blew.

Gustong-gusto kong pumunta sa dalampasigan at mamasyal mag-isa. Gusto ko ring subukang maligo sa dagat. Hindi ko alam kung marunong ba akong lumangoy o hindi pero buo ang loob kong sumubok.

P-Puwede naman akong lumabas upang mamasyal ngunit kailangan ay kasama si Asher.

It has only been one week ever since I woke up without my worries. I'm still not comfortable around him. Hindi ko pa siya masyadong pinagkakatiwalaan para iasa at ipagkatiwala ang sarili ko sa kanya. Though I'm thankful that he's feeding me and giving me shelter, I still have doubts running around my mind.

Nilingon ko ang mga photo albums na aking laging dala tuwing inilalayo ko ang sarili ko sa kanya at pinipiling mapag-isa rito sa terasa kung saan tanaw na tanaw ko ang dagat. Tuwing tinitingnan ko kasi ito ay kumakalma ang isipan ko at tumatahimik mula sa pagsisigaw ng ilang mga katanungang nakapaloob sa aking isipan at hindi pa nasasagot.

In just a day of being here, I found comfort in this place. Ang sabi naman ni Asher ay madalas daw talaga akong magpalipas ng oras dito sa terasa kapag nandito kami sa kanyang bahay bakasyunan.

Ang sabi niya sa akin ay may bahay kami sa Maynila at doon talaga kami namamalagi. Nandito lang kami ngayon sa bahay bakasyunan niya rito sa Palawan dahil dito siya mas nakakapagsulat. Kapag natapos na niya ang kanyang librong sinusulat ay babalik na kami ng Maynila.

Asher's a writer.

Last time, he showed me his novels that were already published into a book. His first and second name was written on the cover page, spine and copyright part of the book. He didn't want to put his surname, just because he liked it that way. He also let me read every dedication part of his written works, and I never failed to find my name written on the dedication part of each book.

He told me that he continued writing because I exist, while I on the other hand didn't even know why I exist.

Muli kong binuksan ang photo album at walang sawang tinitingnan ang mga larawang nakapaloob dito.

I don't know if the accident also affected my heart because I can't feel anything except for frustration while rummaging through the pictures.

Pilit kong sinusubukang pakiramdaman ang nararamdaman ng Shaula na nasa litratong nasa loob, ngunit wala akong maramdaman. Instead of feeling something significant about how I should feel whenever I'm with him, I'm feeling emptier.

I stopped from scanning the pictures when I reached the page where my favorite picture of us was placed. Sa lahat ng mga litrato naming nadaanan ko ay ito ang pinakanagustuhan ko.

I think we were at the top of the mountain here in the picture. A beautiful sunset was in our background as the main point of the picture while we were just a silhouette.

I like how we're the only ones in black, while the rest were painted in ethereal colors.

Hindi ko pa naitatanong kay Asher kung saan ang lugar na ito, pero parang gusto koi tong puntahan. Gusto kong maramdaman ang naramdaman ng dating Shaula nang marating niya ang tuktok ng bundok at makita ang kagandahang alay nito sa bawat taong handang mapagod upang maabot siya.