Note To Self: Do Not Commit Suicide [On Hold]

Note To Self: Do Not Commit Suicide [2]

 Chapter 2

               I've been having the same nightmare for the past ten years. Although apparently, according to the doctors, I'm experiencing different dreams but I only remember this particular one because it has caused me so much grief. The pain was too overwhelming that it made me forget my other dreams.

               I rubbed my temples as an attempt to soothe the pain. I was used to getting headaches but for some reason, this one ached more than usual.

               "Ugh, what's the time?" I thought to myself out loud. Grabbing my phone, which was under my pillow, I turned it on and blinked quickly so my eyes could adapt to the brightness. The clock read 4:57am.

               A few minutes later, Jamie began crying. He would always start crying around this time so I was used to it. At first, it was annoying but there was nothing I could do about it. He was eight months old and has been crying so much lately. Coincidently, he would wake up after I had my nightmare.

               Jamie was my younger brother. Not my real brother, of course, but since I'm adopted he was the closest thing I had to a sibling. Something seemed off today. Jame was crying louder than usual. I could hear him clearly even though he was in the nursery room which all the way on the other side of the house. I had a feeling that the neighbours could hear his as well.

               Gabe and Michelle adopted me a few weeks after the accident and before that I was in foster care. The entire adoption process was difficult especially because I had no living family members. I was lucky to have Gabe and Michelle adopt me. From what I could remember, I didn't like living in foster care. Gabe and Michelle were extremely sympathetic when they heard about the car crash that killed my parents. Michelle couldn't conceive any children which was why they were searching to adopt a child. However, about a year ago she unexpectedly became pregnant with Jamie. Everyone was shocked by the news.

               Before the accident, my father was a successful lawyer and my mother was a famous fashion designer, both well known in their fields of expertise. With both of their incomes combined, we were more than well off. In my parent's will, they left all of their money to me. However, being under eighteen meant that I wasn't allowed to touch a single cent. There were only a few more months until I turned eighteen. The money would really help pay the bills. I couldn't have wished for a better couple to adopt me. Although they were poor, I didn't care at all. They raised me as I were their own and loved me the very moment they laid eyes on me, even though I was a complete stranger. They helped me growing up and managed to put up with my neverending problems.

               Having depression was a major factor of my life – something that couldn't be ignored. Even though Gabe and Michelle were supportive and caring, they weren't able to help me with my mental issues. No one could.

               I got out of bed and walked over to the nursery room. The door was slightly opened and through it I could hear Jamie's cries and Michelle's attempts to calm him down. Gabe was probably still in bed, trying to get as much sleep as possible.

               "Shh, there there." I heard Michelle soothe her baby.

                I peeped through the gap and saw Michelle looking drained from the lack of sleep yet she still had a beautiful glow to her. She looked at Jamie with so much love and care. It didn't matter if she only slept two hours a day, as long as her son was safe, she was happy.

                It was hard to not feel sorry for Gabe and Michelle. They constantly got little sleep because they had to wake up consistently to assist their son. On the other hand, I was already awake so I wasn't effect as badly as they were. My insomnia left me exhausted throughout the day. There were only a few hours until school started so instead of trying to get back to sleep I decided that I might as well got ready.