You're So Silly

You Good, Mop Head?

It's been 7 years since I meet Logan back in 5th grade. We're now high school graduates. Even though I didn't become class valedictorian like I had planned, I still decided to do a speech anyway even though I'm scared of public speaking. It looks good on college applications so why not take the extra mile?

I had a speech that lasted about five minutes. Not to toot my own horn or anything but not only did I make the parents cry but I also made my fellow graduates cry as well. But me being me of course, I decided to lighten up the mood by adding some lighthearted jokes, just to break the ice. At least people laughed.

After the moment of terror was completed, I had closed off my speech with the cheesiest line you could say and a graduation:

"Congradulations Class of 2013...WE MADE IT!!!"

Everyone including me took off their caps and threw them up on the air. The graduation music started to play through the giant speakers.

I looked around to see if I could spot Logan anywhere. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around. It was Logan. I gave him a giant hug

"FINALLY high school is over," we both said in unison.

"We frilly as hell," says Logan, bringing up the inside joke we've had since the day we met. His comment made me chuckle.

Logan than stops to look at me. He seems paranoid about something.

"Hey, you good mop head?" I ask him, noticing his sudden silence.

"I gotta tell you something," Logan says. I notice that his anxiety is starting flaring up. I can tell because I've known him for the longest time.

"What's the matter?" I ask him, concerned.

"Ya know nevermind, it's stupid,"

"No what? I wanna know," I said, grabbing Logan's hand.

"OK....you see...." Logan was hesitating. He's usually more forward. Why is he closing up?

"Logan, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm your best friend. I always have been since the 5th grade. " I reassured him.

"That's the thing. You're my BEST FRIEND. I feel like what I have to say will ruin that." He says

"Logan, nothing you say can ruin this. We've know each other for too long. You can trust me."

Logan is silent for a while but he eventually speaks up.

"I... I really like you. And I don't mean as a friend. I mean... I'm in love with you...I've loved you since the first day I met you back in 5th grade. The day I asked you to be my best friend was the best day that has ever happened to me."

"Really?" Was all I could say. I'm completely and utterly shocked.

"Yes. And I know it took me a while to speak up but I'm telling you now."

"Logan...I-"

"Hey kids, we should go out to eat to celebrate your big day," says Logan's mom, cutting me off.

"Sure," I said as I walked towards her.

"We can talk about this later, OK?" I told Logan. He nods his head in agreement. We then walk to the car.

We all decided to go to Golden Corral's to celebrate graduation. The car ride was pretty quiet. Since I didn't want the parents to know what was going on, I decided to text Logan, even though he's sitting right next to me.

Y/n- Logan

Logan- you know I'm right next to you right?

I can see in the corner of my eye that he's looking at me.

Y/n- yea I know lol

Logan- you're frilly.

Y/n- ah ha ha

Logan notices that my leg is shaking. I only shake my leg when I'm nervous

Logan- you good bro?

Y/n- about what you said back there,  do you really mean it?

Logan- yea of course I do y/n. I meant every word of it.

Y/n- Logan...you're my best friend and I love you but.....

Logan was looking at what I was typing...

Logan- yea yea, I get it, u don't have to say anything.

Y/n- Logan let me explain plz

Logan- it's OK, I get it

Y/n- Logan plz.

He put his phone back in his pocket and didn't respond back.
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We arrived at the restaurant. Logan and I walked towards the buffet tables and started grabbing our food. Since we like the same food, we pretty much followed each other around unintentionally. So whenever I wanted to grab food, he would reach for it too. Our hands kept touching each other. For some reason, I felt sparks. I just ignored them because he's supposed to be my best friend and I don't want want to make things awkward. Well... more awkward then it already is.

When I accidentally touching his hand, we would gaze into at each others eyes.

I looked into his beautiful ocean blue eyes. He smiled at me with red cheeks caused by blushing. I smiled back at him, soon realizing what I'm getting myself into. So I quickly look away. I can feel his saddened face burning the side of my face. And it breaks my heart.

I then walked over to the dinning area, sat down, and started eating my food really fast so that way I can quickly get out as awkward ass situation soon as humanly possible.

Eventually, we all went home. The drive back was extremely quiet. I'm sure you could hear a pin drop in that car.

But today really got me thinking. What if I freaked out so badly because I really DO like Logan? What if I wanna be with him? What if I'm in love with him too? All these thoughts and questions were swirling inside of my mind. I don't understand why these feelings have to come up. Just when things were starting to get better, our feelings get in the way. What am I gonna do?