everything i didn't say » luke hemmings (book 2)

twelve

"Tatum! Wake up! We want you to see the sunrise!" Mikey shakes me awake.

I groggily sit up and wipe the sleep from my eyes. I stretch my arms and hop down from my bunk. I follow the boys down the hall to the living room.

The sunrise is breathtaking. Streaks of bright pink, orange, and yellow paint the sky. I take a cliché picture and post it on twitter.

"It's so pretty," I finally say.

"Yeah. But nothing's as pretty as our Tatum," Calum says and I blush.

"You guys are too sweet," I walk back to my bunk and grab my shampoo, conditioner, razor, and tampon for afterwards.

I shower and wash my hair thoroughly as well as my body. I step out and look at my scars. They're healing, but painfully slow.

And I know I have to tell the boys soon, I just don't know how. Mikey already knows and, thankfully, hasn't told the other boys yet. I dry myself off and fix myself before going to the bunks.

Keeping the towel tightly by my side, I quickly grab my undergarments and clothes. On my way back to the bathroom I bump into Ashton on his way out.

His eyes are bloodshot and I can tell he's been crying.

"Are you okay Ashton?" I search his eyes for any emotion but find nothing. He shakes his head and turns away. I brush it off and change in the bathroom.

Once I'm finished getting ready I relax with the boys in the living room. They're arguing over which Spider-Man movie better.

"The third is was obviously the best," Mikey says.

"Wrong! The second was by far the most amazing Spider-Man," Calum buts in.

"You're both a couple of idiots!" Luke shouts. "The first is the winner,"

The argue like this back and forth for twenty minutes when the tour bus comes to an abrupt stop.

"What the hell?" Calum mumbles. He looks out the window.

"We've broken down!" he flops on the couch.

"God damn it," Mikey runs his fingers through his hair.

"While you guys stress over a small problem I'm going to go watch Hunger Games in my bunk,"

Luke's POV

I slowly pull back the curtain to Tatum's bunk in attempt to not startle her.

"What the fuck?" she hits her head on the top of the bunk and winces.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to alarm you," I apologize.

"It's not your fault Luke," she pauses her movie and takes off her earbuds.

"So what are you up to?" I ask her.

"Oh, you know, watching the movie like I said I was going to do," she says awkwardly.

"Mind if I watch it with you?" she shakes her head and scoots over. We both squeeze in the small bunk and she catches me up to everything that's happening.

"So she took her sister's place and is now in training for the games?" I clarify.

"Yup. It's not that complicated," she continues the movie.

I can't help but get distracted from the movie. She's too beautiful. I don't know why I think she likes me. She's way out of my league.

My mind can help but think of the one night when she said I made her nervous. How do I make her nervous? Is it because of my height?

She confuses me so much...One minute she says I make her nervous, and another she's acting like we're a real couple.

Girls are weird.

The movie ends quickly and I realize I only watched about ten minutes of it. I drifted off for most of it.

"Did you enjoy that Mr. Hemmings?" Tatum asks.

"Sure did. Uh...pretty shocking ending," She nods in agreement.

"Do you want to watch another movie?" she asks.

"Sure. But can I ask you something?" I scratch the back of my neck somehow.

"Anything, Luke. You know that," she says.

"Okay. Do you remember whenever you wanted me to sleep with you for comfort?" Her cheeks turn a light pink.

"Yeah..." she trails off.

"That same night you said I make you nervous. I'm just confused. How do I make you nervous?" I blurt out.

She remains silent. She looks around for a few minutes until speaking.

"Only on some occasions you make me nervous," her voice is barely audible. It sounds uneven and shaky, as if she's nervous.

"What does that mean?" I ask her.

"You remind me of my dad," What the hell? I remind her of her dad? That's weird.

"I'm still not following," I say to her.

"Almost eight months ago I told you my dad left us. Right? That's not exactly the case," she starts off.

"When I was nine my dad was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and aspergers. He quit his job, and took up drinking and drugs as his hobby, leaving my mom to work overtime just to pay the bills," I say.

"By the time I was eleven my dad had beaten me and Tyler almost every night and raped me once. My mom had no idea...she was working so much she barely had time to ask us how our day went."

"Time passed and finally Tyler and I visited our school guidance counselor at the time. She called the police and had him arrested. He was in jail for three and a half years. When he was released he was sent to a rehabilitation center for a year and a half."

"He was sent home a few months ago. He wasn't even home for a week until he killed himself in front of me and my brother."

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry Tatum. I thought your dad just left your mum for another women. You never went into detail about him," I explain.

"I know. I wanted to believe myself that ignoring the fact that he's dead would mean he wasn't," she says.

"Did you ever get help?"

"Not really, everybody just assumed I was fine, but he really fucked me up. You guys and Tyler are the only people I really trust anymore."

"Again, I'm really sorry Tatum. None of us had any idea."

"It's okay...it just feels better now that I opened up about it.

"I still don't understand the part how I make you nervous,"

"Some of your tendencies are just like his. The way you get when you're embarrassed or worried. Or the same look of mischief you get when you've done something incredibly stupid," Tatum rambles on and on.

"I'm sorry, Tatum," I wrap my arm around her waist and she rests he head in the crook of my neck. Her body shakes furiously as she tried to hush her sobs.

"You can cry. We don't care. We're your best friends,"

I draw shapes on her back and play with her hair until she's asleep in my arms. I kiss her head and fall asleep, too.

-

in all seriousness, please, if you or somebody you know is a victim of domestic violence, or sexual assault, seek help. if you or someone you know somebody who is thinking about suicide, reach out. nobody deserves the pain and suffering that comes along with it. you are worth it.

domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233

but wOw imagine being lukes girlfriend........he makes me eye heart emoji but also the sad face emoji.