Far From Home

Chapter Thirteen

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.It's all in Remus' POV!

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Far From Home

Chapter Thirteen

4-29-78

     Dear Cassie,

It’s been a month since you left. I’m still in denial. I keep telling myself that if I write you a letter confessing all of my thoughts and professing my love for you that you’ll come back. I’m not sure if that’s true or not. I’m also not sure whether or not I’m actually going to send this letter.  

I know you know that I miss you, and that I love you, and that James and Lily miss you, and Sirius and Shelby miss you…that’s all logical thinking. But I just want you to know that Alex misses you too. He’s been crying a lot, and nothing I can do will calm him down. He misses his mother.

I don’t know if you’ll be gone long. I don’t even know if you’re going to come back. Of course, I hope you do. It’s hard without you. There have been days that I’ve found myself sitting on the living room floor, staring at the fireplace, wishing you were sitting next to me. I miss your hugs and your laugh and your jokes and every little detail about you. I miss you; all of you. I just want to sweep you into my arms and never let you out, in fear that you’ll leave again.

I can’t understand why you left. It makes no sense to me. I want you to explain it to me; make me understand why you would leave Alex and I. That’s probably not going to happen. Not anytime soon.

        I hope that you’re safe, wherever you are. Whether or not you come back or if you decide that you’re better off without us, I’ll still love you. Some part of me will always love you, no matter how hard I try to push it away.

     -Remus

     Remus swallowed, feeling sweat begin to bead on his forehead. How was he supposed to answer Julia’s question with Cassie standing in his kitchen?

     If Julia had asked him that question two months ago, Remus would have been able to answer in a second. Of course he didn’t think she was coming back; he had thought she was dead. He had mourned for her, but then he had moved on with Julia. Remus had a life with Shelby and the kids. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a life.

     But now, Cassie was back. She wasn’t dead anymore, and her return had awakened a multitude of feelings inside of Remus. Anger, grief, confusion. He spent the majority of the time trying to push it all away, telling himself not to think about Cassie and the entire situation until it became relevant.

     Like when Julia asks him if he would want his fiancé back, had she returned; which, in fact, she had.

     “I’ll be right back,” Cassie said just as Remus went to open his mouth. The look on Julia’s face had forced him to give her some type of answer, “I’ve just got to use the restroom.”

     She all but ran from the room, leaving Remus as the center of attention again. Julia looked at him, raising her eyebrows.

     “I don’t think she will come back.” Remus said slowly, now that Cassie wasn’t in the room. He had hoped that would have been enough for Julia, but evidently it wasn’t.

     “And? If she did?” Julia asked him. Remus glanced at Shelby, who gave him a helpless shrug. She couldn’t help him out of this one.

     “Well she is Alex’s mother…” Remus answered. He had asked himself the same question hundreds of times before, even thought of different scenarios and things he would say to her if she were to return. But now that she had, all Remus could do was try and ignore the fact that she was there, “I think it’s too complicated for a yes or no answer, Julia.”