breaking free (completed)

1. make it stop

"Go away! Me tired!" with eyebrows furrowed, she signed emphatically.

"Just try. What sound does this make?" He signed back. But, he spoke too, enunciating each word.

Richard was hired as a private tutor to Maine, a young girl who doesn't speak. At 16, she also has bouts of vertigo and tinnitus (ringing in the ears) that made her more anxious about her current situation.  She had always been the quiet type. In fact, she mostly was heard of more at home.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Maine screamed in the middle of the night.

"....what's happening?" Her Nanay MaryAnn ran into the room.

"....make it stop! Make it stooop!!" Maine repeated over and over again, pounding the side of her head.

"Make what stop?" Ate Niki, her older sister, cradled Maine and rocked her, trying to calm her down.

"Shhh....tama na....shhhh...." Nanay said as she stroked Maine's forehead.

When she finally settled down a few minutes later, she sobbed quietly in Ate Niki's arms. Then, she transferred to hug Nanay and buried her face in Nanay's neck.

".....masyadong madalas na tong mga ganitong episodes mo....bukas na bukas, pupunta tayo kay Dr. Rodriguez." Nanay said as she rubbed Maine's back and stroked her head.

"...mga dalawa....tatlong....buwan na, bigla nalang syang sumisigaw ng "make it stop!" at minsan parang lasing maglakad...." Nanay narrated to Dr. Rodriguez. "....sabi nya, nahihilo daw sya....nasusuka....pag sumuka naman, ganun pa rin daw yung feeling...."

"Hmmm....iha, can you tell me more about how you feel?"

Maine glanced at the doctor then looked down at the floor.

"....so, hindi pa rin sya nagsasalita?"

"....sa bahay.....sa amin.....pero alam mo naman, pagdating sa labas or ibang tao...."

Dr. Rodriguez nodded. "....okay Maine, I'm going to have you admitted for some tests....I'm really concerned about your complains about sounds in your ears....does it sound like ringing or a high pitched tone?"

Maine slowly lifted her head and looked at Nanay.

"Ok....is it painful?"

Maine looked at Nanay who answered "no" for her.

".....but it's annoying, no?"

Maine looked at her mom.

"....Mommy says that you get dizzy spells, too?"

Maine stared.

"....yung parang biglang umiikot yung paligid mo....kahit nakapikit ka, parang di tumitigil yung pag-ikot...."

Maine looked down on the floor.

The doctor, Maine's pediatrician, looked into her ears. "....Maine, like I said, I will have you admitted to run a few tests, okay?"

Maine looked up and stared at the doctor.

"Okay, you can get dressed now. I'll talk to your mom outside..."

Maine stood up and slowly put on her pants and shirt.

".....I suspect an ear infection....."

"Nanaman?"

"....nagsasabi ba sya kung anong nararamdaman nya sa inyo?"

"....yun lang....yung nakakabinging sound lang daw at yung hilo....."

".....pero di pa rin sya nakikipag-usap sa labas?"

"....hindi.....di na nga masyadong naglalalabas yan e.....parang mas gusto nya sa bahay lang sya....pag nasa labas kami, di pa rin nagsasalita....sabi nung psychiatrist, selective mutism...kung kami lang ang magkasama sa kwarto, malakas ang boses nyan....pero, pag andyan na yung mga kasambahay, biglang halos ibulong nalang ang sasabihin......"

"Ahh..."

"....kaya ayan, sa amin lang nakikipag-usap....buti nga andyan pa si Pepe, yung yaya ng mga bata hanggang ngayon e....di kasi yan nakikipag-usap sa iba....sa mga bagong kasambahay...."

"Paano na pag nasa labas kayo, out of the country?"

"Marunong syang mag sign language.....kasi kala namin noon, bingi sya, kaya kumuha kami ng tutor...lahat kami nag-aral mag sign...ginagamit nya yung sign language sa amin sa labas....pag sa bahay, nakikipag-usap sya gamit ang sign language kapag may ibang tao sa paligid...."

"Hmm....." the doctor noted all of this in Maine's folder. "...okay, gaya ng dati, ipapa-neuro scan natin sya and hearing test na rin.....ipapa-check din yung balance and sleep nya.....pero, ang iniisip ko talaga has something to do with her ears....her balance...."

"....okay po...."

Maine joined her Mom and Dr. Rodriguez in the other room.

"O, Maine....I was just telling your Mom that we'll have tests done on your brain, your ears, your sleep and your balance, okay?"

Maine just stared at the doctor.

"....Nay....." she signed.

"Yes anak?"

"....natatakot ako...."

"....alam ko....pero alam mo naman na kailangan mo yung tests para malaman natin yung dahilan ng pagkahilo mo at yung sinasabi mong sounds na naririnig mo...."

Tears welled in her eyes.

"....sasamahan ka ni Nanay, okay?"

Maine nodded and rested her head on Nanay's shoulder.